Honolulu Weekly

It almost feels like a traitorous act, writing about The Hideaway. True to its namesake, this dive bar is completely hidden from the street and revels in its low-key, no-frills approach. There are no dance nights, no special events, no live music, no Web site and no advertising. Not that it’s a well-kept secret. The Hideaway has been open for more than 30 years and won the distinguished ‘best dive bar’ in Honolulu Weekly’s Best of Honolulu readers’ poll. And it deserves the title. Open for 20 of the day’s 24 hours? Check. Patrons who look like they would alternately buy the house a round and seriously hurt you if you look at them the wrong way? Indeed. Attitude? Oh, they have attitude. It took nearly three months of researching the place before security stopped checking my ID with more scrutiny than you’d find in any airport. When fresh-faced vacationers wander in, lei still draped around their necks, hooting obnoxiously about how they’re from California, regulars have literally turned their backs, like protesters at a Bush public address. The parking lot sometimes looks like a car convention, with souped-up classics and hogs to die for. Or die from, if you’re unfortunate enough to fall into their parking zone.

But if you can get past its surly demeanor (and it can get past you), you’ll easily find the charm of the place. Above the well-stocked bar, there are two signs that would seem incongruous, but sum up The Hideaway experience perfectly. One reads, ‘How about a nice cup of shut the fuck up.’ Next to that, another sticker reads: ‘Try doing a random act of kindness.’ That’s how this bar is run. Most patrons amble in with the intention of getting a few cheap drinks–The Hideaway has some of the best prices in the Waikiki area, with most drinks under $3 and one of the best happy hours anywhere, with $1 domestics and wells from 6-7pm. People inside claim plans for other destinations, but they end up never leaving. There’s no reason to. That’s why if you do three months of research of your own, you’ll notice the majority of the crowd consists of regulars–playing pool or darts, drinking cheap pitchers. They bring their dogs that mingle with the crowd with more aplomb than some of the two-legged counterparts.

Staying longer than expected goes for the employees as well as the patrons. On any given night, you’re likely to see the bartenders of shifts past hanging out with the regulars that show up night after night. Case in point: The present owner, Jonathan Hernaez, bought the bar in 2001, after working there for 11 years. ‘I don’t wanna go anywhere else,’ Hernaez says, pouring one of his signature Bloody Marys. ‘Because I have so much fun being here.’

The Hideaway

1913 Dudoit Ln.

Getting in: Just bring ID, 21+
Dress Code: Tattoos and T-Shirts
Soundtrack: Depends on who’s monopolizing the Internet jukebox–country, to rock standards, to ska revivalism
Sightings: Dave Attell, Eddie Vedder
Signature Drink: Cheap draft beer; Bloody Marys