Honolulu Weekly

With the popularity of websites like MySpace and the plethora of online dating sites, those pondering the age-old question of whether they are hot or not need little more than a high-speed Internet connection and a digital camera. But if you still want your ego validation the old-fashioned way–with human contact–there’s the Ocean Club.

Just reading over the litany of restrictions for passage into its sacred halls is enough for those with self-esteem issues to go running for cover. No shorts. No slippahs. No beach wear. No sports or gang affiliation.

Everything about the dress code screams: Club entry equals buying into the television ideal of success and beauty. And though we all know the folly of judging on first appearances, you can’t help but think the apparent snotty atmosphere would be enough to make you stay home in sweat pants.

But if you make it past the personal affront and beyond the fashion guards at the door, the Ocean Club has plenty to offer. Restricting most of their nights to people 23 and over (a welcome rarity), the women in the crowd get a reprieve from the high-school lines–or the lines stolen from movies about people in high school.

Ocean’s is also home to the mega popular, mega fashion-conscious Piranha Room, and if you troll around various message boards, you’ll find plenty of people willing to denigrate the place, though it all seems like sour grapes–the majority of nay-saying comes from those who didn’t make the image cut.

Tuesday is ladies’ night–but not restricted to the fairer sex–and everyone drinks for $2.50. But even with the femme-centric theme, the ratio is stacked against them. The result is akin to a bad prom night, where the men line the back bars trying to think of a line that isn’t obviously from a John Hughes movie. Meanwhile, the girls drink, cavort and gossip until others reach the right level of liquid inspiration.

If you’re one of those waiting for said inspiration, there are plenty of hiding spots. Though three stand-alone bars surround the dance floor, there are enough side tables and booths for those with an aversion to looking like an idiot set to music. If it’s still too intimidating and you know you can’t dance, you can always suggest one of their many tables under the stars to get your date’s mind off the floor and your mind off whether corduroy would’ve been a better choice.

If you can get past the thought that everybody is judging your book by its cover, you can enjoy yourself. Or you can drink a lot for a little and thenÖwho really cares what you’re wearing?

Ladies’ Night (Tuesday) at The Ocean Club

500 Ala Moana Blvd. 531-8444

Getting in: Just bring ID and some fashion sense Dress Code: Collared shirts and dress pants for the men, halter tops and denim skirts for the ladies Soundtrack: Madonna, Prince, Pussycat Dolls Sightings: Owen Wilson, Damon Wayans Signature Drink: At $2.50, they’re all signature drinks.