Night Life
Best place to play pool
Hawaiian Brian’s
In Martin Scorsese’s under-rated sequel The Color of Money, the opening narrative told us that for some people, ‘luck is an art.’ Well, the odds were obviously with Hawaiian Brian’s Billiards in a highly artistic way. The pool institution won by a landslide, easily edging out Dave & Buster’s. It isn’t hard to see why. Thirty-nine tables, video games and even food practically ensure that you’ll get the full nine-ball experience if you feel like stroking your stick. It’s open 24 hours a day so you can go anytime you like, although nighttime is usually the right time. Paul Newman’s Fast Eddie Felson prided himself in his study of human moves. With the characters that drift in and out of here on any given evening, he would have had a pretty good time. –Ryan Senaga
Hawaiian Brian’s Billiards Pro Shop, 1680 Kapi’olani Blvd., 946-3741 [www.hawaiianbrians.com]
Best place to hear music without a cover charge
Mai Tai Bar
A brilliant answer. Because not only is there no cover charge at the Ala Moana Center joint, you don’t even have to be in the bar to hear the music. All the mall’s a stage when the live music gets going on the Ho’okipa Terrace. But had it been up to us, we would have sided with the reader, who more or less said, I-don’t-have-to-pay-$40-for-the-UB40-concert-because-I-can-hear-it-just-fine-from-the-Waikiki-Shell-parking-lot-thank-you. A couple of beach chairs, a cooler and the balls to set up camp outside the gates of the Waikiki Shell to hear a concert you didn’t pay for is all you need for a cheap night out? Right on.
Mai Tai Bar, Ala Moana Shopping Center, 947-2900
Best place to be on the down low
Hula’s Bar and Lei Stand
Does hanging out at Hula’s count as being on the DL? YeahÖwe didn’t think so. Still, Honolulu’s most popular gay bar draws ‘em in–and out, apparently. And leave it up to our trusty readers to keep us abreast of the goings on at runner up Pagoda Hotel, because last we checked, we were there for our 8th-grade banquet. What a difference a few years makes. One reader had a more telling suggestion: ‘the military.’
Hula’s Bar and Lei Stand, 134 Kapahulu Ave., 923-0669
Best place to meet a blind date
Starbucks
It was inevitable really. For a certain demographic, nobody wants to make a more tasteful good impression than Starbucks and what does that say about the mystery man or woman that chooses that particular coffee house for the first public exposure? ‘I’m safe, I can afford to not drink crap java and I probably listen to Terry Gross’s Fresh Air while stuck in traffic and debating whether I should burn a copy of the Good Night, and Good Luck soundtrack for my office mate.’ The real question is though, since we’re in the age of MySpace, is there such a thing as blind dates anymore? Messaging a profile is probably the closest we’ll ever get. Bonus props go to the romantic comedy fan that submitted ‘walking a very large dog.’ If you stole it from You’ve Got Mail, kool and the gang. If you stole it from the horrible John Cusack debacle Must Love Dogs though, we’re gonna ignore that new friend request.–R.S.
Best stealth PuPu
Mercury Bar
You’re sitting there, see, in the near-notorious Mercury Bar, where patrons actually converse, trade bon mots and (gasp) discuss ideas, tucked away on the half-street between downtown’s Bethel and Fort Street Mall, and you’re a little oiled-up. You’d like some damn pupus. Tell one of the almost alarmingly friendly barkeeps, and he’ll hand you a menu from the place next door–the miraculous Grindz restaurant–and you’ll order, and, voila, before you can finish your Red Bull-and-vodka, a Grindz cook will appear with your order post-haste. Don’t get us wrong: Grindz is a full-on eatery, with good, good food, but if it’s pupu you’re after, take our seasoned advice and try da garlic butter shrimp (not overcooked) or wasabi steak or the fried mandoo or onion rings. Ono. Then you can continue at the Mercury, solving the problems of the world. (’Bad advice is given by those with empty stomachs,’ said Wallace Stevens.) Grindz, hidden behind a white door cheek to jowl with the Mercury, has a full complement of full-on (and mini) plates of local kine food. Word of advice: Don’t go to the Mercury drunk–you’ll never find it. In the interest of better booze and pupu for the masses, we provide here a map, invaluable if you’ve never been on Chaplain Lane before. –Bob Green
Mercury, 1154 Fort Street Mall, 537-3080
Best drunken memory
Wave Waikiki
It’s barely been a season without Jack Law’s Wave Waikiki, but already, Honolulu’s nightwalkers gently weep. Yes the booty bars are still around and a decent handful are still open and serving alcohol past the 2am mark–Fashion 45 and Pipeline have done a helluva nice job picking up the slack–and yes, there is still genuine rockin’ electric guitars playing venues live, but there was just something about the Wave and its always diverse clientele, and its aura of both hedonism and danger that’s missing from the edge of Waikiki. The Jager just doesn’t burn the same without it. Go back, Jack. Do it again.–R.S.
Best place to lay back and enjoy a movie with 15 of your closest friends
The Movie Museum
Sometimes, The Big Lebowski on your 32-inch television just isn’t enough. The Movie Museum, this city’s only second-run art house, lets film buffs rent the 17-seat theater for a film screening of your choice. Get everyone together, pack food and drink and settle into the faux leather recliners for movie night. The museum is also a DVD rental spot and its collection is vast.
The Movie Museum, 3566 Harding Ave., 735-8771
Best bar to gather your thoughts
The Hideaway
We have it on good word that Honolulu’s favorite dive, The Hideaway, is the ideal place to do some cerebral searching. Forget Borders or the library. They don’t serve beer. The Weekly’s ‘Night Shift’ writer, Dean Carrico, says that after a long night of, uh, research, he often ends his escapades at the Hideaway, where he’s able to gather his thoughts, sort things out and, OK, have a few cold ones. For inspiration only, of course.
The Hideaway, 1913 Dudoit Ln., 682-2731
Best UH-friendly bar that isn’t Magoo’s
Eastside Grill
Five-dollar pitchers are hard to pass up, but sticky floors and shoulder-to-shoulder crowds aren’t. Eastside Grill is the perfect antidote for Magoo’s fatigue. You can actually have a conversation with someone without your phone number ever coming up. And you probably won’t run into your entire poli-sci class–that counts for a lot.
Eastside Grill, 1035 University Ave., 952-6555
Best bar with worst dress code policy
Bar 35
So do we all understand this correctly? Men can’t enter this establishment with its tasty pizza and its plethora of beer choices unless they are wearing shoes that cover the toes. Women can wear slippers, but a guy in $200 Italian leather sandals and an Armani jacket (people do wear such things, right?) will be turned away at the door. What is the logic behind this dress code? A man in smelly Nikes and gym clothes gets in while the dude in the nice Aloha wear is denied if he’s trying to let his feet breathe on a summer evening in Honolulu. The footwear policy seems suspiciously arbitrary, an attempt to create a rule that only those who are in the know can follow. Perhaps this cuts down on tourists or drop-in visitors; perhaps this creates an ambiance that favors regulars. Perhaps they don’t print the policy on any of their ads so they can establish a ‘velvet rope’ effect at the door? Who knows? Perhaps they’ll reconsider.–Tim Dyke
Bar 35, 35 N. Hotel St., 537-3535, [www.Bar35Hawaii.com]




