Line ‘em up
Ryan Sanford
Age 23
Location Depends on the night of the week
Years Bartending 4
Biggest tip
No comment.
As a bartender, what rule do you follow
I don’t drink Patrone. It brings out the beast.
What is the ugly side of being a bartender
Umm. I don’t know about ugly, but I don’t really care for doing inventory.
The sexy side of being a bartender
Meeting beautiful women.
Favorite pick-up line
Umm. Not sure. I don’t use them.
Best strange but true bartending experience
I have this regular that likes to write me witty notes on napkins. She tries to make me laugh.
Favorite drink
Chilled Stoli Elite, Knob Creek and ginger ale.
Any original creations
I make a few original shots. I make a shot that tastes like a blueberry muffin and another one that tastes like passion-orange-guava juice.
What does a type of drink say about the personality of the drinker
Nothing really. I think people order all sorts of different drinks. You can tell if someone is drinking to be social or drinking to get drunk by what they order.
–Interview by Kalani Wilhelm
Eddie Trongkamsataya
Location Indigo
Age 35
Years bartending 11
Biggest tip
Buy real estate
As a bartender, what rule do you live by
Enjoy life and don’t get caught up too much in what you do. Keep in mind what’s most important–your peace of mind, your family and friends.
Favorite pick-up line
I don’t have any pick-up lines.
Favorite drink (to make)
The simple things–vodka tonic, rum and Coke–showing off my lazy side, I guess.
How many phone numbers do you get on a Friday night
I think my sex appeal has gone down. I only get, like, one a weekÖbut I have a girlfriend now.
What do you drink when you go out
Beer and wine. But I’ve been known to drink anything. I like ordering the cheap stuff–like Pabst, Schlitz, just to get reactions out of people.
What’s the trademark of a good bartender
Being friendly. I’d say it’s even more important than making a good drink. I try to be. But I always make a good drink.
Biggest pet peeve
People who are quick to order but slow to pay.
How do you cut someone off
Look him in the eye and tell him, ‘You’re done.’
Best tippers
My friends. Other bartenders. Service people.
How many pairs of black pants do you own
Maybe 16. I don’t like to do laundry.
What time do you get to bed
5am
What time do you get up
Noon-ish
How many glasses do you break
I’m pretty good. I average about one glass every two weeks.
Do you put your cash in the bank or under your mattress
First it goes in a shoebox, then it goes to the bank.
–Interview by Catharine Lo
Jen Key
Location The Hideaway
Age 26
Years Bartending 4
Biggest Tip
$100
As a bartender, what rule do you follow
At the Hideaway, there is no rule. Basically we all back each other up, and that’s both for employees and customers. We definitely give respect, but we require respect as well. We’re all about karma style.
The good part about being a bartender
The people. Everybody has so much character. You can always tell what kind of people are here by what’s playing on the jukebox, and they’re all characters. Once I walk in, my mouth opens and doesn’t close until I leave, and that’s good because I have a big fucking mouth.
The ugly side of being a bartender
When somebody gets kicked out, some people don’t want to go and that usually means they’re being dragged out. It starts a negative vibe. That’s irritating because all of a sudden everybody has to take a bit before they can really get over it. But once we get them out of here–and we will–then it will get back to normal. That comes from everybody wanting to protect everybody and everything in this bar.
The sexy side of being a bartender
There’s always something going on, but if they’re not welcome, then it’s not OK. Everyone is going to get a little flirty like they would in any atmosphere. If there’s a couple who are getting a little too close to each other and everybody’s looking at it, we’ll usually tell them to break the fuck up, even if it’s entertaining. Because, ew… Just… ew
Favorite pick-up line
Any pick-up line for me is really weird and uncomfortable. It’s just creepy and dorky, and it’s usually just lame. Usually I just pretend that I didn’t hear it because mostly it’s just beer talk.
Best strange but true bartending experience
Dave Attell came in, and I hadn’t seen television in like five years, so I had no idea who he was. I wasn’t working at the time but the upstairs was open and I was carrying two pitchers of beer and this guy grabs me saying that I’m beautiful and asking what I’m doing and I just start snapping at him, like ‘Hey, you’re spilling all my fucking beer. What the fuck is wrong with you?’ I went upstairs and forgot about it, and the next day people are all excited about it, and I still don’t know who he is. When you see the episode, he goes to The Hideaway, but my part isn’t in it. But my friend found the clip on the Internet.
Favorite drink
Bloody Mary. It takes a little longer to make, but everybody who gets it just loves it, and they say so.
Any original creations
A variation of the top shelf margarita served as a shot. Patrone, splashes of Grand Mariner, OJ and cranberry juice.
What does a type of drink say about the personality of the drinker
The worst is when a commercial comes out and everybody wants to try it. Like the mojito? I mean, do we look like we have an herb garden here? We don’t even have cherries because the customers ate them all.
–Interview by Dean Carrico
Brad Miller
Location Tiki’s Grill & Bar
Age 26
Years Bartending 5
Biggest Tip
I’ve got a couple of hundreds, but once when a good buddy of ours found out his mom had a rare form of leukemia, we had a benefit where we all donated our time and tips, and together we made eight grand. We told everybody about it, and one guy showed up with a stack of hundreds. Every shot he bought, he would slap down a hundred and tell us to keep it. When it got to where we couldn’t serve him anymore, he’d ask for a toothpick, and bam, another hundred. He spent $3,000. Doing that felt a lot better than just making a large tip for myself.
As a bartender, what rule do you follow
Anybody who tells you their own nickname or tells you that they’re a bartender in the first 10 seconds of conversation–guaranteed they’re gonna be an asshole.
The good part of being a bartender
Good part? Everything’s a good part. The hours, the energy, 500 people around you and they all want what you got? Nothing matches that.
The ugly side of being a bartender
The assholes. They’re always gonna show up, and they’re always gonna be there. That’s not just for the drunks. Sober, drunk–Asshole doesn’t discriminate.
The sexy side of being a bartender
If you can’t get laid as a bartender, then you can’t get laid. But as for witnessing things, being in a hotel you see people who come here on vacation and lose their inhibitions, a lot more than they would back home. You know, when you sleep with a stranger at home, you’re a whore, but sleep with one while on vacation, and you’re just having a good time.
Favorite pick-up line
I hear them all the time, so I should have a good answer. I think you try to forget them because you don’t want accidentally use them.
Best strange but true bartending experience
There was a couple here every day, all lovey-dovey. They got engaged here. One day she went to their hotel room, and when she came back, she found him flirting with two women. They started arguing and went back to their room, and we figured we’d never see them again. Forty-five minutes later he comes running down, frantic, yelling, ‘Has anybody seen a diamond ring?’ She chucked it off the 18th floor of their balcony. He even borrowed snorkel gear to search the pool. Never found it.
Favorite drink
Beer
Any original creations
Maunawili Mountain Apple–Citron, apple pucker and cranberry juice.
What does a type of drink say about the personality of the drinker
If people order something that I can tell they’ve come to like on their own, I respect that more than anybody who gets the newest fad drink. People who order mojitos because they’re popular or cosmos because cosmos are popular basically says you’re a sheep in the herd.
-Interview by D.C.
Mars Duenas
Location Honolulu
Age 28 and 550ccs
Years bartending 6
Biggest Tip
$1,400 New Year’s Eve at the Wave
As a bartender, what rule do you live by
It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice!
The good part about being a bartender
The good part is the money, baby, what else. I ain’t gonna lie!
The ugly side of being a bartender
I feel like a vampire when I go home–it’s into my coffin to sleep ’til the sun goes down while all the other peeps are awake.
The sexy side of being a bartender
Honestly, I can’t think of any stories that I can tell.
Favorite pick-up line
Once a customer told me he just bought a house on Maui and asked me if I would like to live with him. My response was: ‘I don’t want to live on Maui mutherfucker.’
Best strange but true story
Two years ago, I tried to learn how to flair. I ended up breaking eight bottles. I have the scars to prove it. The moral of the story is to leave the juggling to the clowns. I’ll just stick to serving drinks.
Favorite drink
If I’m being good, Vanilla-7. When I’m bad, Patrone straight up, no back.
Any original creations
On my first trip to Vegas I created the ‘Royal Flush.’ It’s made with Crown, peach Schnapps and cranberry juice.
What does a type of drink say about the drinker
If it’s something green and it ain’t Agwa, stay home!
-Interview by K.W.
Jeff Maxwell
Location Hula’s Bar and Lei Stand
Age 30
Years Bartending 3
Biggest Tip
Decline to share. (Five minutes later a guy from Milwaukee, perhaps past his mid-40s, inquires how Jeff answered this question and then reveals he’s about to leave this gigantic tip: ‘A helicopter trip to Maui and back.’ It would be a funny quip, but the Midwesterner says he’s serious: ‘It’s not a joke. I just asked him. He told me to ask him later; he said he can only do one interview at a time.’)
As a bartender, what rule do you follow
Treat every customer equally as you’d want to be treated.
What’s the good part about being a bartender
I see lots of smiling faces, and I hear lots of interesting stories.
What’s the ugly side of being a bartender
It can be taxing on the soul. (Asked if he wants to clarify, he says, ‘Not really.’)
What’s the sexy side to being a bartender
Anytime, anywhere.
Favorite pick-up line
If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.
Best strange but true bartending experience
This lonely guy took me and my co-workers out for this lavish dinner and gave us crazy gifts just for being nice.
Favorite drink
Jagermeister
Any original creations
A Mandarin Samurai– Mandarin Absolut, Curacao, Red Bull
What does the type of drink say about the personality of a drinker
Each person has his own taste. Different strokes for different folks. Different prices for different vices.
-Interview by Timothy Dyke
