Readers’ picks

Politician most likely to resign in disgrace

George W. Bush

OK, when we wrote this category we really weren’t thinking on a national level. We were thinking locally. Fortunately, some of you understood this and responded with some choice selections: Mike Gabbard, Dan Akaka and Charles Djou. But none of those guys were the overall winner. That honor went to Dubya for reasons that are simply not worth mentioning since we’ve committed all of his foul-ups to memory by now. January 19, 2009, can’t get here quick enough.

To rail or not to rail?

Best way to reduce congestion on the H1

Build a rail system

Take that, SUVs. Take that, mid-sized sedans. Take that, compacts. We don’t need you anymore. We want rail. Right? Right?

Worst display of hubris by an elected official

Too many/Couldn’t say

Couldn’t narrow it down to a single individual and a single act, eh? You think all of these guys and gals are pretty vile ego-tripping fools. And yet for whatever reason you keep electing the same ones, year after year after year.

Best route for the rail system

Kapolei to the airport to downtown to Waikl-kl- to UH

For whatever reason Honolulu City Council failed to grasp the idea that this was quite simply the only route that the rail system could take and actually be useful to the population at large. But you, our ever-clever Honolulu Weekly readers, you knew that this was the only route that would work. Maybe you should run for City Council next year, and yeah, we mean all of you.

Best reason why the Legislature should pass a tourist cap

None

Just when we begin to think that all of our readers are sustainability diehards, something like this comes along and surprises us, not like turning a corner and running smack dab into a monkey in a clown suit driving a dog sled of half-naked nuns all of whom bare a shocking resemblance to Gov. Linda Lingle would surprised us, but close. You actually said that a tourist cap was a bad thing. Why? As one reader said, ‘We need tourism or the working class will suffer.’ Can’t argue with that.

Editors’ picks

Hanabusa: Where are the scissors?

Best example of a politician splitting hairs to hide an alleged conflict of interest

Colleen Hanabusa denying she represented Jimmy Pflueger

After the confirmation hearing for former Department of Land and Natural Resources head Peter Young, someone in the press evidently remembered that Senate President Colleen Hanabusa previously represented Jimmy Pflueger in a previous case against the state and DLNR. Allegations that Hanabusa had a conflict of interest were soon mentioned since the Senate President approved a subpoena allowing William McCorriston, the attorney who represents Jimmy Pflueger in Kaloko Dam break matters, to address the committee. However, Hanabusa quickly found a way to sidestep the matter, proclaiming that she did not represent Pflueger. Nope. She had represented Pila’a 400, a limited liability corporation affiliated with Pflueger. That said, according to a financial disclosure filed with the State Ethics Commission, Hanabusa listed Pila’a 400, Pflueger Properties and Jimmy Pflueger himself as clients.

Best example of instant karma at work in the State Capitol

Committee chair reassignments for Sens. Russell Kokubun and Clayton Hee

Following the mob-style political hits on two Lingle allies–a successful one on DLNR head Peter Young and a failed one on new judge Glenn Kim–the two Senate Democrats who oversaw whole thing were reassigned to new committees by Senate President Colleen Hanabusa. Hee was taken from the powerful Judiciary Committee and moved to the much less influential Water and Land Committee while Kokubun was removed from the Water, Land, Agriculture and Hawaiian Affairs Committee and placed at the head of the Commerce, Consumer Protection and Housing Committee. While both men could have expected to be rewarded for doing their party’s dirty work, the apparent reason for their demotions probably had to do with the sloppy way they handled it, allowing both hearings to turn into embarrassing front page stories.

Clayton Hee’s next stop could be a television commercial.

Politician most likely to be seen in a GEICO ad

Clayton Hee

We know. We know. We’re picking on Hee a bit much. But come on, the guy regularly displays all the grace and charm of a club-wielding Neanderthal, and that’s even after he shaved his Captain Caveman beard.

Hey, gimme my dress back: possible showdown in political areana.

Two local politicians most likely to be involved in a co-ed mud wrestling match

Barbara Marshall and Donovan Dela Cruz

In one corner, current Honolulu City Council chair Barbara Marshall. In the other, the former head of the council, Donovan Dela Cruz. Since the Dela Cruz ouster, Marshall and Dela Cruz-with an assist from Ann Kobayashi–have been consistently at odds. In fact, the battles between the two have become so frequent that this Honolulu Hale showdown might one day overshadow the municipal melee between Mayor Mufi and Charles Djou.

They don’t say “backseat” for nothin’.

Former government official most likely to be spotted at Back Seat Betty’s

Bob Awana

Explaining this one just ruins the joke. Laugh. If you don’t find it funny, laugh anyway just to make us happy.

Best example of extortion by a non-Indian national

Romy Cachola

Rajdatta Patka has nothing on Honolulu City Councilmember Romy Cachola. For starters, Patka’s plot to extort mad ducats from Linda Lingle’s chief of staff, Bob Awana, landed him in jail. Cachola’s blackmail scheme worked. See, Cachola refused to vote in favor of Mayor Mufi Hannemann’s rail project unless the rail took a nonsensical turn away from the airport and toward Salt Lake. And because the project was DOA without Romy’s vote, Cachola got his way.

Best local PSA catch phrase

Spread Aloha, Not Germs

We didn’t even pay attention to the ads. After all, we know to cover our noses when we sneeze and wash our hands after visiting the loo. Bugs are bad, and we try to avoid catching them if at all possible. But the tagline for this little public service campaign caught our fancy. It’s almost as good as ‘Cook Rice, Not Ice.’