Cover Story / Five city bouncers tell their sides of the story, and guess what? The big ones have big hearts and the little ones pack a mean punch. Go figure. What they all have in common (besides an unusual reluctance to be honest about their ages and last names) is an on-the-job approach that’s much less forceful than you might think. They just want you to have a good time while you’re on their turf. Get in their faces and they reserve the right to rearrange yours, but behave yourself and they’ll make sure you have the time of your life.

C.J.

Age: 27 (’again,’ she says.)

Club/bar: The Hideaway, 1739’s (now defunct)

Atmosphere: Local dive; open 6am-2am; no cover, no dress code.

Years working in industry:Nine years†

Technically, C.J. isn’t a bouncer or a doorman, but working with clubs for as long as she has, primarily as a bartender, she’s learned that being behind a bar means you’re likely to have to play the role of security guard, like it or not. ‘People tend to gravitate toward me instead of a door guy when there’s a problem,’ she says, ‘because they know I’ll take care of it.’ After recently being brought into the fold at The Hideaway, the morning bartender saw her throw out a patron and the story grew into legend, culminating with her being the only female who can work the door as paid security.

Using a disarming smile and quiet yet unmistakably devilish demeanor, she’s able to keep people in good spirits with the underlying understanding that you never want to be on her bad side.

What do you like best about the job?

I get to do something that I’m good at, which is crowd control. It’s nice at The Hideaway, because it’s a self-policing kind of place, which wasn’t the case at 1739’s. Here, the regulars look out for me and the bar, while at my old job, people hid until whatever was going on was over. With both places, sometimes it’s a combination of ringmaster and baby-sitter. But it’s a fun combination.

What do you like least about it?

Again, this applies more to 1739’s, but it’s always a good thing to remember: Just because you’re a regular customer, this does not give you carte blanche. If you like a place enough to be a regular, then you would think you would want to protect it. You do that by not doing things that would get the place in trouble, whether it’s fighting or something else. We have three rules. Though shalt not involve the police, the fire department or the liquor commission. That being said, I’ve never really had a problem, because I take the hypothetical embarrassment route. I tell them, ‘Honey, do you really want me to knock you out, pee on you, wipe with your shirt, then tie you to a lamppost on Kuhio with a daisy hanging out of your ass?’ They’re usually laughing so hard that they calm down.

Favorite on-the-job story?

There was a customer arguing with his girlfriend on the phone, and he’s getting more and more flustered and angry and finally he shouted into the phone, ‘Look, it’s my way or the Hideaway.’ I told him his Freudian slip was showing and he still didn’t get it. I had to repeat what he said back to him. I still say we should print shirts with that as our slogan.

Advice to patrons?

Have your ID on you and if you’re here during power hour, have your money out, order your drinks all at once and just generally be ready, because honey, you lost me at, ‘uhhhhhÖ’ 

- Dean Carrico

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Marshall

Age: Decline to state (which has gotten him into trouble before).

Club/bar: Irish Rose Saloon

Club/bar atmosphere: Live rock music every night at 9pm; no cover, no dress code.

Years working as a bouncer: Three years; seven months at current location.

The Waikiki club scene is a varied lot, filled with theme nights, cover bands, music to fit nearly every genre. But if there’s one given, it’s that almost every place has the snarling doorman who looks like they could snap your head off without much effort. Given those criteria, Marshall doesn’t look like your average bouncer. Tall, lanky, bespectacled and with a near-permanent goofy grin affixed to his face, he looks more like a libations-loving patron than somebody whose job is to check IDs and keep the peace. That actually works to his advantage–he’s so well known and liked in bar circles that few would ever intentionally cause him grief. When the rare occasion does come about where he takes somebody down, others often speak it of in amazed reverence long after the fact.

Working the door at the Irish Rose Saloon, with its live bands nightly with no cover and a crowd that runs from fresh-faced military youths to middle-aged professional party-goers, Daubs is both security detail and carnival barker, welcoming regulars by name and enticing the random passer-by to try a night up the long set of stairs–all while wearing that goofy grin.

What do you like best about the job?

I like people. I like talking to people. I like saying ‘hi,’ ‘how are you doing?’, ‘have a good night.’ Some of the people probably aren’t coming up, but sometimes I do get them to check it out. And when they do go up, they end up coming back. I get to meet everybody, and when I’m done here and I go to other bars, I see people that I’ve met, and they love to buy me drinks. It’s the greatest job in the world.

What do you like least about it?

Fights. I prefer not to fight. I’m not built for it. I’ve broken up a couple of fights, and I’ve only had to do a take down on a night that I wasn’t even working, but he was bothering some of our very good regulars. Other than that, I’ve never had to get involved where blows were being landed. The ones who want to fight are people who are like, ‘I’m gonna get in your face and I’m gonna talk really loud and I’m an alpha male and apparently I have a small penis.’ But I end up talking to the guy and making fun of their small penises and everybody ends up going their separate ways. When I explain that if they start a fight on our property, they can’t come back, that usually stops it, because they want to come back.

Favorite on-the-job story?

There were three people walking by just before the band started at 9pm–two beautiful girls and one guy. I started talking to them, telling them what we had going on upstairs and they decided to check it out. Well, as it turned out, only the girls were legal. Since I wasn’t going to let him in, they were ready to leave, but I bought the girls a drink token and [ended up] hanging out [outside]with him all night. The girls didn’t leave until we were closing, and I’m sure he was rewarded.

Advice to patrons?

Always carry your ID with you. The law doesn’t just say you have to be 21, you have to be able to prove it. And even if you’re known at the place, you’re risking getting your favorite bartender in trouble if you don’t have proof. And really, is that the person you want to get busted? Nothing is worth that. –D.C.

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Palani

Age: ‘Yeah right!’

Club/Bar: Lotus Sound Bar

Club/Bar Atmosphere: Three rooms of house, techno, hip-hop grooves and
mash-up.

Years Working as Bouncer: 15 years with stops at Blue Zebra, Exotic Nights, Club Rose, Buddah Bar.

Palani, Head of Security at Waikiki’s Lotus Sound Bar, has been the muscle at strip clubs, hostess bars and nightclubs since his high school days. He’s witnessed more nightlife shenanigans–some good, others unmentionable–than most doormen.

Working in the middle of the constant hustle that is Kuhio Avenue has surely added a few more stories to his history

Sure he’s bounced a few. He’s crossed the line a few times, though regretfully. Over the years, he’s refined his methods, studied his craft and learned to handle any and all situations with ease. The key is putting out any potential fires before they escalate. It’s more about working with the customer than intimidation. In Palani’s eyes, if you’re cool, calm and collected, you’re always in control.

Behind the shades, the brawn and the tattoos is a man of experience and aloha. He’ll treat you like a long-time friend even after just meeting you and there’s not a name nor face he forgets.

Since Lotus opened its doors about a year ago, its ace cards have always been its diverse music and worry-free environment–credit Palani’s direction and staff for the latter.

What do you like best about your job?

Meeting new people all the time. It’s almost like a PR job. We’re always talking to customers making sure they’re having a good time. We try to help them enjoy their stay here so they keep coming back. Not too many people act up here. Not like the strip bar where you get all the construction workers straight from work. They’re all drunk, tired.

What do you like least about your job?

Seeing everybody’s bad side when they’re drunk. They can come in happy as hell and leave mad at the world, mad at everybody because they’re so drunk and can’t handle liquor–or they’re just too aggressive with women.

Favorite on-the-job story?

One of the weirdest things was this guy actually made it to our walk-in where we keep our alcohol. He tried to walk out with a case of beer right through the front door–a case of Heineken right on his shoulder, like nothing. We caught him right before he got to the front door and we escorted him out.

Advice to patrons?

Come in, have fun, make your experience a memorable one so you leave with happy memories. That’s all we want–for everyone to come in and enjoy themselves.
-Kalani Wilhelm

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Pepe

Age: ‘55Öjust joking!’

Club/Bar: Pipeline Cafe

Club/Bar Atmosphere: Club and concert venue, often hosts 18+ shows.

Years Working as Bouncer: More than 10 years with stops at World Cafe, Blue Zebra and The W.

The life of a doorman is more than ID checks and pat downs. Especially when your first name is Pepe and you run the show at Pipeline Cafe. While you’re partying with thousands, he has your personal well being in mind.

As one of the largest clubs in the state, the stocky, barrel-chested director of security specializes in crowd control and laying down the law. He is also a strong believer that the best good-time formula is the proper mix of fun and safety.

While one could come to the conclusion that Pepe fits the stereotypical bouncer profile, his easy-going personality makes you think otherwise. He’s the first to crack a joke that leaves his listeners rolling with laughter–and not the I’m-laughing-because-I-fear-for-my-life kind of laughter, either.

Since it opened in 1999, Pipeline has established itself as a hotspot for everyone, including the 18-and-over crowd–the importance of catching bogus IDs and boozed-up unders makes his job even more of a challenge. Whether it’s a community fundraiser, Foreplay Fridays or the biggest concert in town, his staff of 15 is the hardest to fool, always prepared and always watching. And if you think Pepe is a big dude, you ain’t seen nothing until you’ve seen his staff. So bring the good times and refrain from any knuckleheaded trickery and consider yourself a safe and sound Pohukaina Street patron, thanks to Pepe and his big boys.

What do you like best about your job?

Working with my guys and protecting our customers. It feels good that we all work together as a team. We all take pride in that. I have an awesome staff that’s on top of everything. Most of my guys have been with me from the beginning, since day one.

What do you like least about your job?

Dealing with customers that are ignorant. They complain. We don’t hate them. We are just doing our job. Most of them understand that, but a lot of them don’t.

Favorite on-the-job story?

I think it’s always funny when someone tries to use their sister’s or friend’s ID and it says they were born in like 1960, and they don’t even look like the picture.

Advice to patrons?

Security at clubs are there to help the crowd. People who think we’re enemies are like that because they didn’t get their way. If they try to come in drunk and we don’t let them in, they think badly of us. They have to remember that we are on their side. We have to be strict but we’re friendly too. –K. W.

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Dee

Age: 27

Club/bar: The Mercury Bar

Club/bar atmosphere: A mid-scale bar with weekly DJ, live music events. Cover charge on event nights only; no dress code.

Years working as a bouncer: One year

The average height for the American woman is about 5-feet-4-inches tall. Dee, being 5-feet-5-inches tall is hardly your average bouncer. With her petite height and megawatt smile, the Mercury Bar’s muscle, and one of the few female bouncers you’ll encounter in this city, is more likely to strike up a conversation with patrons than she is to throw them out. But don’t think that you can mess with her just because you think she’s cute. She was hired for a reason. Visit the downtown haunt on a weekend and see her in action–if you dare.

What do you like best about the job?

The chance to interact with various people, and proving that I can handle the job the same way a guy can.

HEAD What do you like least about it?

How I am judged being a girl bouncer and the way guys think that they can always get one over on me. I am not a push over.

HEAD Favorite on-the-job story?

It’s hard to say. It would have to be the time that four guys came on a busy night and didn’t want to pay the cover charge. The guys were a little drunk and I knew they had been drinking somewhere else. I always make it a point to remember the faces that go in and out of Mercury, and they were not in the bar early as they claimed to be. They kept refusing to pay the cover charge and were being very rude to the door girl who was very scared. They kept yelling at her and then started yelling at me about how it was none of my business, and I need to just go away. Then they pulled the whole I-know-the-owner card and tried to get one over on me. I let them know they were in my house and it was my business and they had to leave. They tried to just barge their way in–now, me being a 135-pound girl, you might think that you can get one over on me, but you better think again. That night the [guys didn't], and how I did it is my secret weapon. I just really hate being judged as a girl bouncer.

Advice to patrons?

Think twice before judging the strength and size of a woman. Like I said, I may be 5-feet-5-inches tall and 135 pounds, but I can bring a 6-feet-1-inch tall, 235-pound guy to tears and drop him to his knees. Just because you see a girl working the door as a bouncer does not mean you can get one over on them. Don’t let the innocence fool you into thinking that I’m weak and can’t handle it. My hard work and training in boxing and Muy Thai give me the strength to prove you wrong and keep doing what I have to do to do the job.

–Margot Seeto



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PARTY’S OVER

you might think getting 86′d will never happen to you. You might be the kind of patron that bartenders and bouncers alike love to see, because you’re friendly, easy-going, tip well and never cause a problem. But circumstances sometimes spin out of control and you may find yourself lumped in with the rest of the rabble-rousers. Just ask Ron Savoy, morning bartender at The Hideaway.

In four and a half years, Savoy had only seen 12 fights in his establishment. Sure, there have been arguments and close calls before, but punches are rarely thrown, partly due to Savoy’s knack for diffusing situations with a mix of humor, intelligence and patience. But even he has his limits.

‘One morning, I had three fights break out withing the first five hours after we opened,’ Savoy says. ‘And I warned everybody, telling them if there was one more fight, I was going to clear out the entire bar. They knew I meant it, but within the next hour, there was another fight. I told everybody–and there were about 25 people here–that I had had it, and everybody had to get out, right now.

‘I didn’t get one argument,’ he says. ‘You would expect that people would protest, or insist they didn’t deserve being tossed out but instead they got up, and made their way to the door. One guy has been coming here for 20 years, and he’s never been a problem. He had just arrived when this happened and he didn’t protest either. He just took a last sip from his Miller Lite, put his bottle down on the table and walked out. The people who were sitting at the bar, people who weren’t even involved actually tipped me, which I still find funny.’

Savoy locked the front door and spent the next hour sweeping the floor, prepping the area for the next bartender and finally reopened for the last hour of his shift.

‘It was like I flushed the toilet,’ he says. ‘All the crap just washed away and I could feel the breeze coming through, the sun seemed to be shining a little brighter, and I swear I could hear the birds chirping outside.’ –D. C.