Tanning parlors may seem redundant in Hawaii, but looking around, say, on the opening night of M, which replaced the Standard in Restaurant Row, you can see how those UV salons fill their beds. At M’s “rebranding party” May 17, it seemed like there wasn’t a single beautiful, plasticky orange-skinned person who stayed away. But what they found behind the velveteen rope and bouncers’ neck muscles was $9 cups of vodka-flavored ice and so much indoor fog that even David Blaine would need to step out for air. It was like the beginning of Bad Boys 2 when everybody is iced on X and the naked guy’s mouth foams up and he dies. I was scared that would actually happen. The vanity was thicker than the fog, and everybody somehow found a way to look at everybody else without ever looking at each other. There were girls handing out mirrors. For all the hype, M is sadly just another in a long list of Honolulu overpriced strobe-light rooms. Which makes me ask: where’s the creativity?