Entertainment


Taking on… Everything

Star-Advertiser columnist Lee Cataluna just released her first novel Three Years on Doreen’s Sofa. She took some time out from studying for her MFA in Creative Writing at UC-Riverside Palm Desert Campus to talk with the Weekly about the book, her writing process and her impending cult status in prisons.


How do you divide yourself? You’re working on your MFA, you’re doing one column a week and you’re doing your own creative writing projects… How do you do it?

I think most people do it. They divide their lives between this thing, the other thing and whatever. I know a lot of parents. That’s sort of the essence of parenthood. So I take my reading with me to my son’s gymnastics class. When I was traveling to Hawaii on the book tour, I did my homework with my iPhone. That’s who we are in this era. We multi-task.

Three Years on Doreen’s Sofa. How did it come about?

I remember having this idea about the ultimate mooch who would lie on his sister’s sofa, and he liked listening to the shower run. What a horrible thing that would be. To let the shower run cause you like to hear the water. I don’t know why I got this image in my head and that’s kinda where it got started.

The other answer is, as a journalist, we get assigned stories where this guy is proclaiming that this changed my life, this program or class or whatever, and you realize they’re totally lying. Their lives have not changed. But they tell such a great story and you want to believe it. I think I wanted to hear that guy justify his life.

Can you name any names?

One time I went to an alternative to violence kind of program. They got their success stories out for me to interview and this one guy was so fricking violent. They had to move him out of the room. He was punching the wall at the side of my head.

There was another guy and he asked me out. I was like, I don’t think I’m going to go out with a guy I met at the alternative to violence program. I don’t care if you graduated, I have a different expectation for myself.

You started out with a guy on a couch: Did you know it was going to be a novel.

I wanted to write a novel. I started out with shorter things: I took classes at Kumu Kahua and started writing plays, and a lot of my plays are like sketches thrown together… Folks You Meet at Longs–those are like monologues stringed together. I wanted to increase my focus. Can I sustain a story that’s a novel length?

What is your creative process?

Something is due and I have to do it now! If I don’t have a deadline, I’m a little lost, so I like to create deadlines for myself. I guess that means I write on fear. Other than that, I’m pretty practical. I don’t need my special pen or my special window. I can write with lipstick on a cocktail napkin if I have to.

What’s your next project?

I have a children’s book, which is so different from Three Years on Doreen’s Sofa. It’s called Soogataris and it’s a story my grandmother wrote for me when I was a baby. It’s about a bird on Maui that wants to fly up to Haleakala. It’s totally different from [Doreen’s Sofa]. There’s no “fuck” words. It’s for kids.

The weirdest thing has happened though and I have to tell you. I hooked in to some kind of prison tour thing.

Okay…

When I was in Hawaii in October, I went to the women’s prison in Olomana to read. Somehow it’s turned into this… Department of Public Safety is putting my book in prisons. All the prisons, they have Hawaii prisoners, on the mainland and stuff. Here’s the best part: Some of the guys can’t take books to their cells cause they can make ‘em into a shank. So they’re just Xerox-ing pages. So I’m going to do this prison book tour. It’s so Johnny Cash. I was kinda hoping for a university crowd but you know what? It’s okay.

If somebody says to me to describe a shank, I wouldn’t know. I’m thinking letter opener but that cannot be. It’s too upper…

Speaking of “upper,” everyone on Oahu is losing their minds about The Descendants right now. Taking your characters into consideration, they are very non-Descendants yeah?

Yeah, but that’s the truth of Hawaii. Lots of layers. I really liked it. I found that, especially being a journalist for many years, Hawaii is such a small place and just when you think you know it all, you fall into one corner and you go “Holy crap,” and you find someplace you never knew existed. I think that The Descendants is a part of Hawaii that completely exists. I don’t live there. [Kaui Hart Hemmings is] a good writer. I’m sort of glad she’s not writing my world.

If you and Kaui Hart Hemmings got into a fight, who would win?

Umm, I definitely have the weight. I saw her picture. She’s so tiny.



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This week

Honolulu Confidential

For this year’s Food + Drink issue, we compiled 100-plus memories of the fantastic bites we’ve taken, the culinary experiences we’ve undergone and other tasteful moments of absolutely loving what Hawaii’s food scene has to offer. The result is a mixed plate of the Weekly ‘ohana’s favorite dishes, libations, produce, places and some lesser-known joys.

Favorite Dishes

Respect Your Veg At long last, vegetables are being recognized as culinary stars. The following dishes have two things in common: They’re veggie-centric, if not strictly vegetarian, and best eaten on the spot.

Noodles

Paitan Broth: Kyoto Ramen Yotekko-Ya If you’re a ramen lover, you know the most important element of the bowl is the broth. At Kyoto Ramen Yotekko-Ya, the paitan broth ($9.95 for paitan chashu ramen) is deeply savory.

Baked Goods

Naan: Cafe Maharani “The dough is just special,” says owner Chris Rahman of Cafe Maharani. The naan ($2.99) is made to order and handled very delicately.

Mean But Worth It

Asian: Green Door Cafe Enter into Green Door Cafe to find a whole ‘nother world. Owner Betty Peng is a one-woman show (don’t start with her, or else) and cooks all of her Singaporean dishes to order.

RIP

Byron’s Drive-in The vacant, former Byron’s Drive-in building still stands near the airport since closing its doors in February. “We’d always go [to Byron’s] late at night,” says Sabrina Thompson, a Tripler Hospital nurse.

Meat

Shinsato Pork: Guava Smoked Scott Shibuya of Guava Smoked made a splash in the farmers’ market scene with his finger-licking good, guava wood-smoked Shinsato Pork. “I really wanted to be my own boss,” he says.

Dairy

Cheese: Surfing Goat Dairy Owners Thomas and Eva Kafsack moved from Germany to Maui and found that they missed receiving fresh goat cheese from their neighbors’ backyards. A few goats from the Big Island (and a huge investment) later, Surfing Goat Dairy was born.

Snacks & Desserts

Decadent Fries: Home Bar and Grill These aren’t ordinary fried potatoes. Chef Neil Nakasone’s Parmesan truffle fries ($8) are an elite class of spuds.

Pop-Ups

Rotations: Taste Some might say Chef Mark “Gooch” Noguchi and partner Amanda Corby, with the help of another power couple, Poni and Brandon Askew of StreetGrindz, fleshed out the pop-up trend with Taste. But: “Actually, Adam is Taste,” Gooch explains, referring to Taste’s general manager, Adam Lock.

Healthy

Healthy Food Truck: Beet Box Cafe The Beet Box Cafe is a sit-down eatery located in Haleiwa Town, but their bright yellow lunch wagon is also worth following. The lunchtruck serves organic, vegetarian burritos ($7-10), a special of the day made with farm-to-table ingredients ($10-12), smoothies ($7.50), kombucha ($5) and snacks such as baked goods and dried fruits ($3).

Seafood

A Cook’s Catch When it comes to fish, freshness really matters, so eating local from our Hawaiian waters is always in the best of taste. Health and sustainability also count.

To-Go

Whole Foods & Down To Earth Down to Earth offers strictly vegetarian delights such as Bombay spinach, eggplant parmesan, stuffed shells, Thai curry and vegetable korma ($9.59/pound). The tofu and eggplant are always sourced from local producers.

‘Aina

Edible Land: Permablitz Fruit trees flourish in Hawaii but sadly, much goes to waste. Permablitz aims to change that.

Fruits

Foraging: Strawberry Guava at Waahila Ridge Strawberry guava is invasive to Hawaii, which is why I don’t feel an ounce of guilt picking the small, red fruits in (free!) handfuls whenever I hike up Waahila Ridge. When they’re a light red color, just pull them off the trees, check for bug-made holes and bite in.

Spices

Nutmeg and Cloves: Frankie’s Nursery Want to spice up your kitchen? Lynn Tsuruda of Frankie’s Nursery says they sell spices grown in Hawaii, by the plant or the fruit.

Specialty Markets

Filipino: Pacific Drive out to Central Oahu and find Pacific Supermarket, a haven for all things Southeast Asian. With the Leeward community’s large Filipino population, access to local favorites at Pacific is a big deal.

Lesser Known

Korean Chew: Taegu Taegu, more properly pronounced as dae-goo, is either a variety of cod, sliced into strips and seasoned, or a seasoned side dish. There is some confusion, as I came to realize while asking my born-and-raised-in-Korea mom, because those side dishes are made with different fish.

Coffee & Tea

Matcha Latte: Peace Cafe Peace Cafe, a second home for vegans, carries a matcha (green tea) latte with a secret. “The first sip is always the most important,” explains an employee.

Healthy

Good For You: Kombucha A SCOBY is a symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast integral to making kombucha. Kombucha, a fizzy tea, is full of promises to boost detoxification, immunity and digestion and joint health.

Cooking Classes

Free: Whole Foods Whole Foods Market Kahala offers free cooking classes at CookSpace in Ward Warehouse. “We just did a Health Starts Here cooking class,” says Whole Foods marketing supervisor Natalie Aczon.

Alcohol

Wine Tasting: Kalapawai Cafe Every second Sunday of the month at 3:30 p.m., Kalapawai Cafe holds a free wine tasting. “We [have] five wines.

Aloha ‘ino

Dear Friends, Readers, and Advertisers, I am sorry to say that this will be the last issue of the Weekly that we will print. I am sad about closing but I see no way that we can maintain our revenue stream and our fiscal health.

Phasing

Native Hawaiians and preservationists have pledged to fight a law, signed by Gov. Neil Abercrombie on May 28, that will allow some construction projects to begin before the site has been fully inspected for ancient burials.

A Food Forest

Imagine you’re walking through downtown Honolulu and, rather than bypassing an empty, blighted park, you’re drawn into an urban oasis–a forest of fruit-bearing trees and shrubs. You could spend your lunch break chatting with friends in the shade of an ‘ulu tree–and, if you’re hungry, pick whatever’s in season.

CIVIX

Road Rule On May 20, Gov. Abercrombie signed Act 73, requiring all vehicle passengers to buckle up regardless of age or seating arrangement.

Hell No, GMO

Tourists enjoying the Waikiki waterfront were treated to Hawaiian phrases such as “Aole, aole, aole GMO!” chanted by protesters in the March Against Monsanto on Sat., May 25. Translation: No GMOs, ever.

Done Deals?

The Hawaii Community Development Authority (HCDA) made its proposed plan to redevelop the Kakaako district available to the community during an open house on Thu., May 23. HCDA Executive Director Tony Ching began with a presentation of the new Transit-Oriented Development (TOD) plan before letting residents ask questions.

TheBus

In 2011 the city Department of Transportation Services (DTS) was tasked by then-Mayor Peter Carlisle’s administration to shave $10 million from its budget. Over the course of a year, several bus routes were cut and many more were shortened or reconfigured and the frequency of service decreased.

No one for GMO

You mentioned in your May 29 GMO article (“Big Pharm Fallout”) that GMO bans were placed on taro and coffee in 2008 in Kohala County. However it was an islandwide ban in Hawaii County.

Sovereignty issues

What a great quote: “I understand that it’s frustrating that we can’t get past the issue of homelessness . .

Not pono

I know space is limited and you couldn’t put everything in one small article (“Art with HART,” May 29). Here is the rest of what I wanted to have said.

Git ‘er done

Have five or more contractors “compete” by tackling sections of roadway (“Road Repaving,” May 29). Criteria for competing are expenses, timeliness and a level of quality assurance standards.

A memoir’s reach

Thanks for this article (“The Naked Truth,” May 22), I’m Mykel Hicks, grandson of Sharon Hicks, and I am so proud of my grandma for all she has done for herself, this family and specifically me. She is an amazing grandma who comes with a moving story I hope can help people around the world.

Fix Kakaako

Please remind readers that the HCDA is not interested in providing housing for minimum wage individuals or families, but in providing property developers with profitable opportunities; that our ancient water and sewage lines were not designed to support the needs of thousands of condo and apartment dwellers, but no one is interested in replacing them because no one wants to pay the price (“Civix,” May 22). As a result, Kakaako’s streets are regularly flooded with no sidewalk retreat for pedestrians, wheelchairs, bicyclists, skateboarders, etc., and constantly excavated/repaired to accommodate one project after the other.