Skin Deep
He’s Just Not That Into You / The clumsy, overly long (129-minute) “adaptation” of the self-help best seller of two seasons past needs a little help itself—life-support. It’s hard to tell whether our movie-makers (including co-producer Drew Barrymore) were cynical or merely inept: they did manage to mix A-list stars (Ben Affleck, Jennifer Connolly, Jennifer Aniston—all far too old for their roles), up-and-comers (Scarlett Johansson, Ginnifer Goodwin, Kevin Connolly) and TV star-wannabes (with forgettable names) in the ensemble cast whose cliché-ridden stories flesh out parts of the book (not much flesh, however except Johansson, who is not yet sagging). The film itself, shot by the usually reliable John Bailey, is often ugly, and the obviously quick camera setups catch a few performers not being photographed on their best sides (Aniston and Connolly should sue).
The stories seem to take place on a planet called Earth (U.S. division), but it must be an alternate universe of some sort (wish-fulfillment division), in which we all learn little lessons about dating, marriage and taking romance tips from effeminate gays. This is upper-middle-class stuff—tony bars, swell apartments, expensive clothes and coifs (poor Jennifer Connolly has a lesbian vampire hair-do, and otherwise looks gaunt and unhealthy).
But is this busy little B-flick romantic and/or funny? No and no. It’s essentially a hyperthyroid sitcom—four sitcoms, actually. Of course, it’s lacquered over with wall-to-wall pop music, original recordings or cover bands. It’s a pot-boiler which should have been distributed with a laugh track and a coupon for Sam Goody’s hits-of-the-last-decade sale. The movie audience tittered once in a while, and in the right spots, but this movie is spotty and thin, “idealization” for people who can’t get dates and who aren’t drop-dead pretty, right off the consumer-cosmetics assembly line.
To save you 10 bucks, here are the little lessons our botoxed acting crew try to lay on us: Dating is tough. Marriage is not for everyone. Cell-phones are a complication. And, of all the gall, people should act their age, which someone might have thought to tell the cast. And this critic, always with your best interests in mind, has his own little message to impart: Don’t marry anyone who likes this movie.
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