Marley & Me / It’s been a long time since an engaging, non-animated dog had the lead role in a motion picture. Airbud, anyone? Underdog? We’re going to ignore a certain other obnoxious flick from earlier this year since this space is a CGI-enhanced Chihuahua-free zone, whether the mutts are from Beverly Hills or not.

Marley & Me is based on the mega-selling memoir by journalist John Grogan, which in turn was adapted by the author from his many articles as a columnist for the South Florida Sun-Sentinel. And the movie feels like a column. It’s mostly made up of episodes in the lives of the couple, with their dog Marley factoring into all of them, screenplay provided by the usually criminally-minded Scott Frank (Out of Sight, The Lookout), apparently taking a break from noir.

Reporter couple John and Jennifer Grogan (Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston) decide to adopt a dog as preparation for having children (if they can’t keep plants alive, what chance do they have with a little human?). They choose a cute beige Labrador and call him Marley–John was listening to reggae on the car ride home. The pup soon grows into what they describe as the worst dog in the world. He demolishes garages, eats expensive gold necklaces, upturns tables in alfresco restaurants, attempts an escape from a moving car and single-handedly shuts down a bark beach by pooping in the one place he shouldn’t. Still, that loveable mutt becomes a part of the fam-unit and imparts valuable lessons on life and love.

Whenever there isn’t a dog on the screen, Marley tends to drag. Unlike the memoir, the film seems to be under the mistaken impression that we’re just as interested in the humans’ relationships as we are in the canines’. Precious pooch time is wasted on career decisions and non-pet-related romantic sitcom bantering between husband and wife. Characters are seemingly created strictly to generate needless interplay in order to justify the hiring of Wilson and Aniston.

Eric Dane basically trots out his smarmy role from Grey’s Anatomy as John’s best friend and fellow journalist, except instead of a colorful surgery bandana, he sports a leather messenger bag. Alan Arkin’s turn as the editor of the Sun-Sentinel contains his usual consoling drollness, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. Wilson and Aniston as the pet owners are game enough and have never looked more glowingly tanned nor luminescent-ly blonde, but they too seem to be killing time between more serious projects. One worries the most about Aniston. She deserves the opportunity to truly display her comedic ability, which she hasn’t really stretched since her TV days. Counting Bruce Almighty, this is her second wifely role that has her overshadowed by a dog.

The most evocative bit of casting is a cameo from Kathleen Turner as a dog trainer that meets her match in Marley. Even her turn as Chandler’s “father” on Friends cannot prepare you for the doughtiness that inhabits the once svelte star of Romancing the Stone and Crimes of Passion. The visible aging and weight gain is almost Kirstie Alley-distracting in its ability to jar. If he could speak, Marley probably would say, “Are you really the Joan Wilder?!”

Luckily, there is a lot of canine to go around. And puppies. Nearly a dozen Labrador retrievers were used to play Marley, 11 of which were puppies, so it’s hard to assess the performance, but director David Frankel (The Devil Wears Prada) makes the illusion work. The dogs are the most magnetic, entertaining presence on screen. We’re instantly hooked the moment Aniston is surrounded by a bounding pile of pups and in the later dramatic scenes, the “oh da cuuute” factor kicks into overdrive. It’s heartbreaking when Aniston’s character suffers a miscarriage and Marley allows her to cry on his forehead, and the tears really flow when the big lug enters his twilight years.

It’s moments like those that make the film a dependable, if inoffensive, holiday screening for the whole family. And judging by the opening weekend box-office take, moviegoers are totally falling for these animals. Marley & Me is probably a must-see for dog lovers. Of course, cat people will remain completely unfazed.

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