Percy Jackson / Since the introduction of the first Harry Potter franchise, movie studios have been scrambling to find the next tween phenomenon based on a beloved children’s series, mostly with lackluster results (anyone remember A Series of Unfortunate Events?). Now, with only one Potter film remaining, the newest attempt to steal some thunder arrives from the Rick Riordan series Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief.

Thunder’s not all that’s stolen.

Summing up quickly, Percy is an awkward but ordinary lad with a troubled home life who learns that he has special powers and a special purpose. From there, he is whisked into a special school to hone his skills, where he befriends a smart, pretty, confident girl and a bumbling sidekick who provides comic relief. Magical adventures ensue.

Sounds familiar, yes? Even more so considering that Chris Columbus, director of the first two Potter films, helms this newest kiddie cash grab. The similarities and comparisons are so overt that Percy’s age was upped to 17 just to provide a little variation.

But of course, J.K. Rowling’s isn’t the only source material lifted here, as this hero’s journey has the boy in question discovering that he has a godfather, literally. Poseidon, God of the Sea, as it turns out, likes to party on the Jersey Shore, and once hooked up with Catherine Keener. Percy is the result of that situation, a classed up half-breed known as a demigod, only nobody bothered to tell him. He’s not alone, either. It turns out the gods have been busy, as there are scores of demigods, all with abandonment issues. Percy makes friends quickly and hones his powers even faster, which is good, seeing as Zeus (Sean Bean) thinks he’s responsible for the thievery of his lightning and imposes a deadline for its return. Other mythological gods bolt for the chance to recover the all-powerful implement, which begs the question: Aren’t these people supposed to be omniscient?

The answer, unsurprisingly, is no, which leads to various encounters of the Greek Mythology for Dummies kind in this not-so-epic quest/road trip, in which the Minotar, Medusa (played by Uma Thurman) and the sirens all make an appearance. Sometimes Percy and his friends know what to do, presumably from middle school religion courses (but, really, didn’t Medusa already lose her head?). Elsewhere, they’ve forgotten the basic plot points surrounding The Odyssey and eat the lotus flowers–at a Vegas casino called The Lotus, no less.

All of Percy’s PG-rated adventures here are a passable enough as entertainment, though obviously there’s nothing new offered, or even attempted, as Columbus and crew hit every imaginable market-tested cliché. It’s a perfectly serviceable distraction, particularly with those who haven’t grown up in the midst of Potter-mania, but for those who have, it’s a painful reminder that lightning rarely strikes twice.