Double-H the Demigod
Maui the Demigod: An Epic Novel of Mythical Hawaii / And now, a myth of the technological age: Once there was an old man that lived in a mansion in Los Angeles with a lot of really hot chicks keeping him company and a reputation for throwing legendary parties. One day this man, we’ll call him Double-H, went out to an extravagant dinner hosted by one of his other mansion-dwelling peers.
While at the dinner, Double-H met a beautiful girl, with the blondest of hair and the stoutest of silicone appendages. She entranced him with her impressive bling, and her singsong voice set her apart from the other stellar babes in the room. Her name was Podette, and she was smokin’.
After the meal was over, Double-H wanted to take Podette back home to his sweet pad, but she was uncooperative because, well, she just wasn’t that kind of girl. But Double-H was a man that always got his way, so he grabbed Podette’s hand and yanked her toward his limo waiting outside.
Poof! Podette suddenly vanished, and Double-H was left clutching the one bit of her that remained–her hand. He gazed upon it, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with remorse for being pushy. To his amazement, the hand started flattening out and becoming solid and black. A square on the top of the morphing appendage lit up, and words appeared: “Double-H, do not be upset at my disappearance. I am simply teaching you the lessons of patience and respect by reminding you that you can’t have every beautiful girl. To help you remember me, I leave you this, the iPod, so that you may forever have sweet melodies filling your head.”
An urban fairy tale that might bring you nightmares, but all hail, for we know where you can get some authentic folklore to remedy any duress you might experience from reading that little ditty: Kumu Kuhua Theatre’s upcoming revival of the epic play Maui the Demigod.
The play, which the troupe toured the Islands with back in the early 90s, is Gary Balfantz’s narrative adaptation of Steven Goldsberry’s Maui the Demigod: An Epic Novel of Mythical Hawaii. The play features hula, chant and storytelling to hit you with the both wacky and heroic myths of Maui and his contemporaries. Maui did way cool stuff, like slowing down the sun and pulling islands up out of the sea, so definitely prep yourself for a major dose of epic.
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