He laughs. You scream.
Image: Lyle Amine

Halloween / If you’re someone who loves screaming in public, then Nightmares Live at the Dole Cannery will probably sound more like a dream come true than a nightmare.

In its third year, this popular local haunted attraction at the Dole Cannery deems itself “the scariest show on Earth,” and maybe that’s deserved. It’s centered around the demented world of a three-ring circus theater, so prepare yourself for creep-tastic Jack-in-the-box surprises around every dark corner: things like clowns with chainsaws, clowns dripping in blood, clowns laughing like clowns holding clown hands with other clowns–okay, how many times do we seriously have to say the word “clowns” to convince you it’s scary?

There are other deranged freaks and ghouls to keep you on your topsy-turvy toes as you walk (and/or cry) your way through the latest in Hollywood-sourced costumes, detailed props, that-can’t-be-real-please-tell-me-that-isn’t-real animatronics and hand-sculpted masks.

One of the newest creatures at Nightmares Live is so chilling it even became the subject of the Travel Channel’s special “Making Monsters”–a monstrous tiki. We won’t reveal where or what it is, but let’s just say the thing talks. Oh, and is carved out of pure evil.

Starting this weekend, bring your nightmares to life every night through Halloween at this abandoned carnival maze of terror, and then try to fall back asleep at all in November. We dare you.

Dole Cannery, 735 Iwilei Rd. (Costco side next to Max’s of Manila and L&L Drive-Inn), 7–11:30pm, $10–$20, free parking, for more details visit [hauntedhousehawaii.com]