Food & Drink

Food & Drink
Seek enlightenment.

Holy Scones

A chorus of Honolulu’s quick bread morning offerings

Food & Drink / I have a daily morning ritual. The location will vary, but the motions are the same: basking in the angelic glow of my MacBook while zoning out on my RSS Feed, catching up with inside jokes on Facebook and adding people I’ve never met before to my “People I’ve Never Met Before” circle on Google+, Twitter, rinse, repeat. It sounds sad and somber, but since I’m a “routine person” (i.e., boring!) it’s the pain free baptism I need to prepare me for diving into work and the vast pool that’s the rest of the day. Only there’s a crucial component that ties it all together… a scone with a hot cup of coffee.

The following is a stream-of-conscious trek through Honolulu’s scone zone (Kaimuki/Manoa/downtown), stopping off at as many coffee shop/bakeries the four hours a morning and my metabolism allow–all in search of some sacred scones. Consider it a spiritual pilgrimage. Christians have the Stations of the Cross. Muslims have the Hajj. Scone-a-philes have this article.

6:38am Wake up. Brush my teeth. Shower. Put in my contacts. Look in the mirror. See I’m not someone cool like Mark Ruffalo. I’m just me. Dear God, I need a scone! “Our Father, Who Art in Leavening Agent, Baking Powder Be Thy Name…”

7:28am Here’s the thing: scones are simple. It’s a brick of bread, right? For me, that’s their appeal. That Town in Kaimuki is nearest my home and open at the crack of 7am complements this ordained simplicity and is why I keep coming back to scour their morning medley of offerings. I don’t think I’ve ever just seen a blueberry scone here; every day they offer selections more inspired. Today’s choices are walnut butter and jelly, blueberry goat cheese, chocolate pretzel, cherry walnut pecan and banana espresso (all for $2). Once I had a creation called “kitchen sink” here, which was as I understood the unused batters from the scones made that day all mixed together into a Captain Planet-like deity of flavors. (But like the Messiah, I don’t know when this flavor will ever descend upon us again…) Their texture is fairly dry, but fortunately this is how I like my scones. Goes great with their self-serve Illy coffee, refills on the church.

Converts: Creative Types, Spoiled Scone Snobs

Town, 3435 Waialae Ave. #104, [townkaimuki.com], 735-5900

8:19am The bake case at Coffee Talk fits the closest to the mind’s picture perfect image of a scone: a thick, malleable pastry with the roundness of a baseball. The trio available this morning is lemon raspberry, blueberry and chocolate chip walnut, the one I opt for ($2). The texture is more akin to a biscuit, which isn’t my preference, but I can still respect it.

Converts: Low Maintenance B-Fast Eaters

Coffee Talk, 3601 Waialae Ave., 737-7444

8:58am In my opinion, these aren’t scones. These are pancakes/French toasts wearing scone clothing. Diamond Head Market offers three variations: blueberry cream cheese, banana cream cheese and apple cinnamon cream cheese. Of those, the banana tray is the sparsest, so I conclude it’s the most popular and therefore order it. Considering their size and density, it’s worth more than you pay for ($3.50). Bite into its moist center filled with slices of banana and flecks of cream cheese and your brain will trick you into thinking there’s a canister of maple syrup in there.

Converts: People Who Don’t Like “Scones,” The New Co-Worker Who Needs to Make an Impression in the Break Room

Diamond Head Market and Grill, 3158 Monsarrat Ave., [diamondheadmarket.com], 732-0077

9:16am Everyone knows Great Harvest Bread Co. offers a choice slice. Now imagine those in scone form. Today’s chocolate cream cheese ($2.50) is in the same style of a cinnamon roll whose sweetness makes the exhilarating effects of coffee feel redundant. The variety here isn’t the best (one choice), but more than makes up for it without sacrificing itself in the highest quality bread and size departments. Sweet Jesus, I could probably break up this carbolicious bread and feed 800 people.

Converts: Devout Anti-Atkins-ists

Great Harvest Bread Co., 4400 Kalanianaole Hwy., [greatharvest.com], 735-8810

9:49am The blueberry scone ($2.50) at Morning Glass is essentially a round loaf of bread (which has freshness guaranteed baked all over it) that they sizably slice for you upon ordering to showcase its beautiful cross section. With a hard mantle of brown sugar granules and glaze over its shell, its inside is incredibly dry, which is a scone right after my heart because the dryer it is the better it goes with my coffee. I’ve decided this scone as my favorite one. Yeah, that’s it. This scone is the Chosen One. This scone is Jewish.

Converts: Your Starving Rabbi, Matthew Dekneef

Morning Glass, 2955 E. Manoa Rd., [morningglasscoffee.com], 673-0065

10:20am Of all the places I’ve been to this morning, Honolulu Coffee Co. is the most “corporate,” so I’m automatically not a believer. Until I’m on my knees scarfing down their piping hot lilikoi macadamia nut scone ($3.40). The most compact of the bunch, it doesn’t detract from its satisfaction thanks to those slices of heavenly lilikoi and macadamia nuts with a hint of vanilla. This is probably the most “pure” and virginal scone I’ve had today. Also, the corner of anything edible is where the real truth of anything lies and HCC wins the distinction of best scone corners.

Converts: Food Corner Dogmatist

Honolulu Coffee Co., 1450 Ala Moana Blvd. #3066, [honolulucoffee.com], 949-1500

11:54am Like the assassination of JFK, everyone remembers where they were when they learned what a gluten-allergy was. For those of you afflicted, there are heaven sent choices from Umeke Market, today’s being gluten free blueberry-almond scones made with brown rice flour and tapioca starch. It’s a total deal ($0.99 each or a pack of 4 at $3.95) with some of the freshest blueberries I’ve had in a scone ever. Since I don’t suffer from the devilish sins of gluten, I can’t really speak of the satisfaction brought on from that strange realm. Therefore, there’s something vaguely mystical about these scones. They’re reverently beyond me like Sufism or Zoroastrianism.

Converts: Our Redeemer Saints of Gluten

Umeke Market, 1001 Bishop St. Suite 110, [umekemarket.com], 522-7377

Final Revelation: There’s no wrong way to scone worship. To each their own. However if you want to score a decent awakening, Starbucks, Barnes & Noble Café and Coffee Bean & Tea are temples you want to steer clear of. Y’know, like Scientology.



COMMENTS

We often print online comments in our “Letters to the Editor” section of Honolulu Weekly. While submitted letters are often edited for length and clarity, online comments we use are printed entirely as they are written for the website. If you do not wish for your comment to be used in Honolulu Weekly print issues, please write “Don’t Print” at the end of your comment. For questions, e-mail editorial@honoluluweekly.com. Thank you!

blog comments powered by Disqus

This week

Honolulu Confidential

For this year’s Food + Drink issue, we compiled 100-plus memories of the fantastic bites we’ve taken, the culinary experiences we’ve undergone and other tasteful moments of absolutely loving what Hawaii’s food scene has to offer. The result is a mixed plate of the Weekly ‘ohana’s favorite dishes, libations, produce, places and some lesser-known joys.

Favorite Dishes

Respect Your Veg At long last, vegetables are being recognized as culinary stars. The following dishes have two things in common: They’re veggie-centric, if not strictly vegetarian, and best eaten on the spot.

Noodles

Paitan Broth: Kyoto Ramen Yotekko-Ya If you’re a ramen lover, you know the most important element of the bowl is the broth. At Kyoto Ramen Yotekko-Ya, the paitan broth ($9.95 for paitan chashu ramen) is deeply savory.

Baked Goods

Naan: Cafe Maharani “The dough is just special,” says owner Chris Rahman of Cafe Maharani. The naan ($2.99) is made to order and handled very delicately.

Mean But Worth It

Asian: Green Door Cafe Enter into Green Door Cafe to find a whole ‘nother world. Owner Betty Peng is a one-woman show (don’t start with her, or else) and cooks all of her Singaporean dishes to order.

RIP

Byron’s Drive-in The vacant, former Byron’s Drive-in building still stands near the airport since closing its doors in February. “We’d always go [to Byron’s] late at night,” says Sabrina Thompson, a Tripler Hospital nurse.

Meat

Shinsato Pork: Guava Smoked Scott Shibuya of Guava Smoked made a splash in the farmers’ market scene with his finger-licking good, guava wood-smoked Shinsato Pork. “I really wanted to be my own boss,” he says.

Dairy

Cheese: Surfing Goat Dairy Owners Thomas and Eva Kafsack moved from Germany to Maui and found that they missed receiving fresh goat cheese from their neighbors’ backyards. A few goats from the Big Island (and a huge investment) later, Surfing Goat Dairy was born.

Snacks & Desserts

Decadent Fries: Home Bar and Grill These aren’t ordinary fried potatoes. Chef Neil Nakasone’s Parmesan truffle fries ($8) are an elite class of spuds.

Pop-Ups

Rotations: Taste Some might say Chef Mark “Gooch” Noguchi and partner Amanda Corby, with the help of another power couple, Poni and Brandon Askew of StreetGrindz, fleshed out the pop-up trend with Taste. But: “Actually, Adam is Taste,” Gooch explains, referring to Taste’s general manager, Adam Lock.

Healthy

Healthy Food Truck: Beet Box Cafe The Beet Box Cafe is a sit-down eatery located in Haleiwa Town, but their bright yellow lunch wagon is also worth following. The lunchtruck serves organic, vegetarian burritos ($7-10), a special of the day made with farm-to-table ingredients ($10-12), smoothies ($7.50), kombucha ($5) and snacks such as baked goods and dried fruits ($3).

Seafood

A Cook’s Catch When it comes to fish, freshness really matters, so eating local from our Hawaiian waters is always in the best of taste. Health and sustainability also count.

To-Go

Whole Foods & Down To Earth Down to Earth offers strictly vegetarian delights such as Bombay spinach, eggplant parmesan, stuffed shells, Thai curry and vegetable korma ($9.59/pound). The tofu and eggplant are always sourced from local producers.

‘Aina

Edible Land: Permablitz Fruit trees flourish in Hawaii but sadly, much goes to waste. Permablitz aims to change that.

Fruits

Foraging: Strawberry Guava at Waahila Ridge Strawberry guava is invasive to Hawaii, which is why I don’t feel an ounce of guilt picking the small, red fruits in (free!) handfuls whenever I hike up Waahila Ridge. When they’re a light red color, just pull them off the trees, check for bug-made holes and bite in.

Spices

Nutmeg and Cloves: Frankie’s Nursery Want to spice up your kitchen? Lynn Tsuruda of Frankie’s Nursery says they sell spices grown in Hawaii, by the plant or the fruit.

Specialty Markets

Filipino: Pacific Drive out to Central Oahu and find Pacific Supermarket, a haven for all things Southeast Asian. With the Leeward community’s large Filipino population, access to local favorites at Pacific is a big deal.

Lesser Known

Korean Chew: Taegu Taegu, more properly pronounced as dae-goo, is either a variety of cod, sliced into strips and seasoned, or a seasoned side dish. There is some confusion, as I came to realize while asking my born-and-raised-in-Korea mom, because those side dishes are made with different fish.

Coffee & Tea

Matcha Latte: Peace Cafe Peace Cafe, a second home for vegans, carries a matcha (green tea) latte with a secret. “The first sip is always the most important,” explains an employee.

Healthy

Good For You: Kombucha A SCOBY is a symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast integral to making kombucha. Kombucha, a fizzy tea, is full of promises to boost detoxification, immunity and digestion and joint health.

Cooking Classes

Free: Whole Foods Whole Foods Market Kahala offers free cooking classes at CookSpace in Ward Warehouse. “We just did a Health Starts Here cooking class,” says Whole Foods marketing supervisor Natalie Aczon.

Alcohol

Wine Tasting: Kalapawai Cafe Every second Sunday of the month at 3:30 p.m., Kalapawai Cafe holds a free wine tasting. “We [have] five wines.

Aloha ‘ino

Dear Friends, Readers, and Advertisers, I am sorry to say that this will be the last issue of the Weekly that we will print. I am sad about closing but I see no way that we can maintain our revenue stream and our fiscal health.

Phasing

Native Hawaiians and preservationists have pledged to fight a law, signed by Gov. Neil Abercrombie on May 28, that will allow some construction projects to begin before the site has been fully inspected for ancient burials.

A Food Forest

Imagine you’re walking through downtown Honolulu and, rather than bypassing an empty, blighted park, you’re drawn into an urban oasis–a forest of fruit-bearing trees and shrubs. You could spend your lunch break chatting with friends in the shade of an ‘ulu tree–and, if you’re hungry, pick whatever’s in season.

CIVIX

Road Rule On May 20, Gov. Abercrombie signed Act 73, requiring all vehicle passengers to buckle up regardless of age or seating arrangement.

Hell No, GMO

Tourists enjoying the Waikiki waterfront were treated to Hawaiian phrases such as “Aole, aole, aole GMO!” chanted by protesters in the March Against Monsanto on Sat., May 25. Translation: No GMOs, ever.

Done Deals?

The Hawaii Community Development Authority (HCDA) made its proposed plan to redevelop the Kakaako district available to the community during an open house on Thu., May 23. HCDA Executive Director Tony Ching began with a presentation of the new Transit-Oriented Development (TOD) plan before letting residents ask questions.

TheBus

In 2011 the city Department of Transportation Services (DTS) was tasked by then-Mayor Peter Carlisle’s administration to shave $10 million from its budget. Over the course of a year, several bus routes were cut and many more were shortened or reconfigured and the frequency of service decreased.

No one for GMO

You mentioned in your May 29 GMO article (“Big Pharm Fallout”) that GMO bans were placed on taro and coffee in 2008 in Kohala County. However it was an islandwide ban in Hawaii County.

Sovereignty issues

What a great quote: “I understand that it’s frustrating that we can’t get past the issue of homelessness . .

Not pono

I know space is limited and you couldn’t put everything in one small article (“Art with HART,” May 29). Here is the rest of what I wanted to have said.

Git ‘er done

Have five or more contractors “compete” by tackling sections of roadway (“Road Repaving,” May 29). Criteria for competing are expenses, timeliness and a level of quality assurance standards.

A memoir’s reach

Thanks for this article (“The Naked Truth,” May 22), I’m Mykel Hicks, grandson of Sharon Hicks, and I am so proud of my grandma for all she has done for herself, this family and specifically me. She is an amazing grandma who comes with a moving story I hope can help people around the world.

Fix Kakaako

Please remind readers that the HCDA is not interested in providing housing for minimum wage individuals or families, but in providing property developers with profitable opportunities; that our ancient water and sewage lines were not designed to support the needs of thousands of condo and apartment dwellers, but no one is interested in replacing them because no one wants to pay the price (“Civix,” May 22). As a result, Kakaako’s streets are regularly flooded with no sidewalk retreat for pedestrians, wheelchairs, bicyclists, skateboarders, etc., and constantly excavated/repaired to accommodate one project after the other.