Honolulu Weekly

Editors’ Picks

#1: Primo

For better or worse, and with a false start or two along the way, one of our most beloved island brands has returned to the beer shelves. From what we hear, they’re still tweaking the brew a little bit, but that’s no reason you shouldn’t grab an ice-cold Primo right now. Better yet, get one six-pack…that’s 42 in dog beers! Chance ‘em! –Ragnar Carlson

At the very least, the #2 bus will get you from point A to point B with the air conditioning cranked colder than Superman’s fortress of solitude. But as regular riders can tell you, that’s never all you get. The $40 it costs each month for unlimited rides around Honolulu also pay for conversations with some of the most random, interesting and batshit crazy people around. Before 8am on the #2, we’ve had a man in his 80s strike up a conversation about the rules of jan-ken-po, a pair of seventh grade girls ask (on a dare, of course) for advice on how to proceed with a secret crush and a request from a disgruntled rider and the bus driver herself to moderate their debate on whether someone who pays her taxes therefore has the right to stamp out butts wherever she pleases–and expect the city to clean them up. We take the #2 twice each weekday, but the ride itself is never the same. –Adrienne LaFrance

#3: The John A. Burns Freeway

H-3 doesn’t seem so bachi now, does it?

Colt Brennan is not walking through that door! Mouse Davis is not walking through that door! June Jones is not walking through that door! And if you expect them to walk through that door, they’re going to be gray and old. What we are is young, exciting, hard-working and we’re going to improve. People don’t realize that, and as soon as they realize those three guys are not coming through that door, the better this town will be for all of us because there are young guys in that (locker) room playing their asses off! –R.C.

When we were kids, we used to watch The Bugs Bunny-Road Runner Hour, Saturday mornings on KGMB. This was back in the mid-1970s, when six-year-olds didn’t know what 2Girls1Cup meant and were still virgin territory for marketers. And so we would spend hours pondering the phrase, “the Bugs Bunny-RoadRunner Hour is brought to you by McDonald’s.” Brought to me by McDonald’s? Did they make it themselves? Is Hamburgler involved? We used to picture Wily Coyote taking direction from Ronald himself.

Later, in middle school–this sounds so naive in retrospect that we’re tempted to put another editor’s initials at the end of this blurb–we noticed that on the Sizzler ads it always said, “Prices may vary in Alaska and Hawai’i” and assumed that the all-you-can-eat steak and seafood dinner was cheaper in those places. Because intuitively it should be. A child can see that. BECAUSE ALASKA AND HAWAI’I ARE WHERE THE F***ING SEAFOOD COMES FROM.

If you’ve ever wondered why Gen-Xers have trouble believing in our own bellybuttons, look no further than the television set. And if you’ve ever wondered how the verb “to vary” became a synonym for the adjective “higher,” well, you just haven’t lived in Hawai’i long enough yet. “Five dollar footlong,” my ass. –R.C.

KITV-4 has appeared on channel six for Oceanic subscribers since we were in middle school, which was right about the time Paula Akana first signed on as an intern. We’ve been in love with her (professionally, of course) maybe not quite ever since, but for a long, long time. Akana’s blend of professionalism and an easy, down-home manner are pitch-perfect for this community, and she handles stories from tragic to trifling with unfailing grace. Next time you return after any length of time away from the Islands, try this: Watch Paula Akana read the news for a few minutes, then switch over to that guy with all the sarcasm and the witty banter. Then ask yourself which one made you feel like you were home. –R.C.

The #7 is the best deal for your mouth and wallet. It’s hard to go wrong choosing dishes 1-15 at $5.60 per item, but the #7 Red Chicken Curry is our favorite. It’s so good your eyes might roll into your head. Its ingredients include sliced chicken breast, eggplant, bamboo shoots, kaffir lime leaves and fresh basil in a red curry coconut milk sauce. Unless you’re a super glutton, you don’t have to order anything else. Finish up and it’s instant naptime with a grin. –Manny Pangilinan

1627 Nu’uanu Ave., 585-8839

As a two-horse town in which one horse (export agriculture) is dead and the other (middle-class tourism) is getting ready to jump the fence, we probably have two long-term options left: Unilaterally declare the state of Hawai’i a marijuana-friendly zone and dare the Feds to come after us, or legalize some form of gambling. And yet there’s not a chance in hell of either of those things happening. You see, we’re decent, church-going, family-loving people here in the Islands, which is why we’re going to continue pouring concrete over every inch of O’ahu and, when we get the chance, taking Hawaiian Airlines Flt. 8 direct to Las Vegas, where they have entire blocks devoted specifically to Hawai’i’s love of gambling (though never in our own hometown, good heavens!) and where we’ll keep throwing millions of dollars every year right out of our state. –R.C.

College radio doesn’t get any better than this. Eclectic, adventurous and always listenable, KTUH offers the best of a multitude of genres while keeping amateur DJ babble to a bare minimum. If you tuned out in the late 1990s–when the station veered dangerously close to an all-reggae-all-the-time format–now’s the time to fall back in love with the best radio station in Honolulu. –R.C.

Have a guest in town? Bored on a hot summer day? Waikk is still the easiest place in the world to learn to surf, with its consistent, small rolling waves, and just ten bucks will guarantee wave catching and a good time all year round. The $10, 10-foot board is the vehicle you need. Head down to Canoes, in front of the Duke Kahanamoku statue, and hang ten. –M.P.