Cover Story continued

These double as Butterbeer glasses. When can we go back to “‘Bows”?

Sports & Recreation

There’s a reason why Honolulu repeatedly shows up atop lists ranking the healthiest cities: We’re not afraid to break a sweat. Hell, we actually enjoy it. Give us a hot sun, some tasty waves and a volcano to hike any day. Here are just a couple of ways that we (and you) continue to look and feel so fabulous.


Best gym

24 Hour Fitness

Gym people are an incomprehensible breed to those who like fresh air, the crunch of gravel underfoot and the possibility of jogging oceanside with a rainbow overhead. The flip side: Why would you want to be outside under the hot sun, sweating profusely while facing a very real threat of becoming a target for birds? To those who seek air-conditioned solace on a treadmill, 24 Hour Fitness is Oahu’s clear choice. The gym has eight locations on this island alone and offers relatively low monthly membership fees in the $40 range. But we do feel obligated to point out the irony: Not all 24 Hour Fitness locations are actually open 24 hours a day (maybe that’s why they leave the hyphen out).

Locations island-wide, [www.24hourfitness.com]

Best workout for seniors

Walking

What, no touch football? Walking may seem like an obvious way for seniors to stay healthy, but those of us who are still counting up the years until we qualify for silver-haired discounts could take a cue from our kupuna. The beauty of this place makes it easy to lace up some sneakers, grab a buddy and go for a stroll. What are you waiting for?

Best MMA gym

Martial Arts Family Fitness

Part of the reason we love to hear stories of regular people fighting off intruders is because it feeds our desire to see good triumph over evil. But it’s also a reminder that we are not powerless to fate–and that knowing how to defend yourself might actually one day save your life. Still, learning martial arts is less about fighting and more about increasing one’s strength and balance–both inside and out. Martial Arts Family Fitness offers a variety of programs for students of all ages. And what better way to lead your family by example than participating in something that’s good for mind and body? Plus, it’s a hell of a workout–and MAFF’s high-intensity Kickboxing Ultimate Training program will make you feel like a bad-ass while you’re kicking your way to looking like one, too.

2600 S King Street, 949-0749, [www.maffhawaii.com]/, [email: info]

You said: “The MMA gym is for douchewagons.”

Best place to get your bike fixed

McCully Bicycle

If you’re one of the many people who opt to get around this island on a bicycle, you’re either brave, stupid or lucky–and probably a little bit of all three. At least 20 percent of full-time Weekly staffers have been hit by cars while bike-riding, and one of our precious interns got hit just last week (don’t worry–only our egos are still bruised). So it makes sense that plenty of people are too scared to take the ole 10-speed for a ride. Naturally, we’re stoked that the City is moving forward with the Oahu Bike Plan, which aims to better integrate bicycles into our transportation system. Of course, responsible bicycling isn’t just knowing the rules of the road (and crossing your fingers that car drivers do, too) but also taking good care of your equipment. And Weekly-reading velocipedes say McCully Bicycle is the best place around. They have a variety of bicycles, seatpacks, tools and other gear, PowerBars and supplements, even surf-racks for your bicycle. McCully also has your other athletic needs covered–with a selection of sunglasses, watches, fishing gear, shoes, the list goes on. Work a stop at McCully into your next ride–and don’t forget your helmet!

2124 S. King Street, Mon-Fri 9am–8pm, Sat 9am–6pm, Sun 10am–5pm, 955-6329, [www.mccullybike.com]/
The City is accepting comment on its draft Oahu Bike Plan through the end of the month. Visit: [www.oahubikeplan.org]/

You said: “Ask the guy who stole mine.”

Best hapai workout

Readers’ choice: yoga

OK, how about this for Honolulu Weekly’s next investigative cover story: A hard-hitting examination of the Honolulu Board of Water Supply that finds out exactly what it is that they’re putting in the water that’s making everyone and her sisters pregnant these days. Seriously, though, is it just us, or is everyone using the recession as an excuse to stay home and get busy?

Either way, moms-to-be know how important it is to keep themselves healthy and happy as they’re cooking those buns. And while you should clear all exercise plans with your doctors first, yoga is a great low-impact way to stay fit and relaxed–and studios island-wide offer classes designed specifically for those who are expecting.

Meantime, mamas (and papas!), if you haven’t joined the Baby Hui yet, for the love of buttons, take the time to visit the group’s Web site–a network of neighborhood-based parents who want to help one another raise awesome keiki? Now that’s something we can meditate on.

Best place for stand-up paddling

Readers’ choice: Ala Moana

The influx of stand-up paddlers at Ala Moana since the sport skyrocketed in popularity may have caused a bit of a riff with longtime swimmers in the area, but there’s a reason paddlers flock there. The still waters of the near-shore lagoon are perfect for the sport. Now if everybody can just play nice, it will probably stay that way for a long time.

You said: “California.”

Best UH team to support

Warrior football

Remember George W. Bush? That guy was president! And, man, was it hard for Americans–even the near-majority of them who didn’t vote for the guy–not to feel a little sheepish about admitting their country of origin for a while there. We may not have gone so far as sewing Canadian flag patches to our backpacks while trekking through other countries, but don’t think we didn’t daydream about it. So–are you ready for this segue?–let’s not punish Unversity of Hawaii’s football players for their coach’s recent bigoted choice of words. Besides, college football fans know that there are only few activities so joyous as waking up early to crack a beer or 12, eat hot wings like your life depends on it and tailgate the sh*t out of a Saturday. The 2009 season kicks off at home on September 4 against Central Arkansas, whose mascot is the dippy looking Victor E. Bear. Go ’Bows!

You said: “Faculty union bargaining team.”

Best league to join

Bowling

For years, people have decried bowling as outdated. They claim it’s going the way of the drive-in movie and that it can’t be saved. It’s true that long-beloved lanes like Waialae Bowl may be gone, but the sport still lives on. Believe it or not, for serious bowlers, there are 75 sanctioned bowling leagues across the island and another half-dozen unsanctioned. Or better yet, start your own league. Plenty of vintage stores on the island sell the old-school team shirts. And can’t you just see the hipsters rocking the shoes at thirtyninehotel now? Well, maybe.

For more information on available leagues and other local bowling events, contact the Oahu Bowling Association 845-4111

You said: “20,000 under the sea.”

Best reason to paddle

Exercise

Right. Duh. Forgive us for asking. But where’s the poetry? No one’s out there paddling for the rare moments of solitude? For the love of the ocean? Or even for the possibility of paddling up next to a cute fellow-paddle boarder who happens to be poetically enjoying a rare, ocean-loving moment of solitude? OK, right. Well, you look great. Keep up the hard work.

You said: “Mind-numbing boredom.”

Best place to learn to surf

Waikiki

There’s a reason that the beachside surf schools in Waikiki can guarantee that tourists will catch a wave during a single session: The Waikiki break is arguably the most consistent on the island and the waves will carry surfers-in-training straight to shore–so they don’t have to worry so much about maneuvering the board and can stick to worrying about how to maneuver themselves on top of it. Besides, it’s more than awe-inspiring to imagine the alii of decades passed riding waves in the same spot. Surf’s up!

Best place for early-morning tai chi

Kapiolani Park

Ever walk by a group of people doing early-morning tai chi and get the feeling they know something you don’t? Well, they do. We haven’t had the guts to just walk up and join them yet, but we’re thinking about it. See you in the park.

You said: “In bed.”

Editor’s Pick: Best UH team to support

Quidditch

New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof recently came up with a list of the best and most beloved children’s books around, and wrote of the Harry Potter series, “the chance to read these books aloud is by itself a great reason to have kids.”

The thing is, you don’t even have to read the books (although you really, really should) to appreciate the awesomeness that is Harry Potter. The six movies that have been released thus far (there will be eight total) are action-packed, imaginative, suspenseful and funny. But really, if you don’t know this firsthand by this point, you likely have your mind firmly made up not to partake in the world of Potter at all. Still, we’re confident that the magic at heart are going to be with us when we say we want to see the Warriors take up quidditch this year.

The sport, which was invented by Harry Potter scribe J.K. Rowling for the books, entails flying around on a broom stick, hurling a ball called “the quaffle,” while avoiding getting knocked around by “bludgers,” and searching for the golden “snitch.” It’s actually quite complex and ingenious if you take the time to read up on it.

So how can quidditch–a sport that involves flying–be adapted for the muggles (non-wizards who likely don’t have access to flying broomsticks) of Manoa? It’s actually being done at a few colleges in the Northeast United States, where co-eds gallop across fields with brooms between their legs, capes billowing behind them. A coalition of liberal arts schools like Colgate, Middlebury, Amherst, Williams and Vassar have even gone so far as organizing their own version of the Quidditch World Cup, in which teams go head-to-head, tournament style. We love the creativity behind this brazenly nerdy athletic display and we’re pretty much positive that a group of Warriors could put those pasty East Coasters to shame. Any chance Quidditch could be adapted for surf? Either way, we’ll be cheering you on.

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This week

Endless (( Sonic )) Summer!

There’s a swell on the horizon. Listen closely and you’ll hear it…AUDIO INVASION 2012.

Circus Unleashed!

It’s been a while, but a man donning dresses and surgical gowns, spouting rap-rock assaults over a bed of crunchy guitars, has drifted back into the sunbeam of MTV like a forgotten fleck of light. With the spastic delivery of a fallen patient from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Matt Shultz, lead singer of Cage The Elephant, is channeling the preeminent poster-child of grunge–Kurt Cobain.

Beach Boogie Waves

Boys, beaches, bags of weed. In 2010, Best Coast blazed onto the music scene with a sealed Zip-lock of 7” singles that led the indie pop duo to roll out a fatty debut record called Crazy For You.

Red Hot Sounds, South of the Border

So what do you do if you’re a band who made it big in the L.A. hardcore-punk scene with several critically acclaimed self-titled albums under your belt?

Foster the Heartbreak

Last Thursday, Foster the People sent news through their publicist that they won’t be performing at Audio Invasion 2012 due to “unforeseen circumstances.” (They’ll return to Hawaii on March 18.) Rumors are their two Grammy noms for Best Alternative Album and Best Pop Duo/Group Performance led to their cancellation. What a let down.

RAIL RIFTS

On Jan. 26, members of the Honolulu Authority for Rapid Transit (HART) Finance Committee mostly sat in silence while listening to an earful from Wynnie Joy-Hee of Mililani, who said that she had taken the bus all the way into town at 7am to address the issue of how her tax money is being spent.

RAIL BOSS WANTED

HART intends to hire an executive director as early as March 1, 2012. The semi-autonomous agency is currently headed by interim executive director Toru Hamayasu, who is also a candidate for the permanent position The ED’s salary has been estimated to be within the range of $150,000 to $350,000, and HART has allotted $300,000 for the position thus far, Vice Chair Ivan Lui Kwan told the City Council Committee on Transportation on Jan.

TEACHING TERMS

Poor communication between the union and the teachers themselves, on top of a general sense of mistrust, were blamed for the overwhelming rejection of the Hawaii State Teacher’s Association (HSTA) contract last week–an unprecedented two-thirds voted against the union-backed contract. The president of the teachers’ union, Will Okabe, quickly took the blame, stating in a Jan.

BEACH blocked

The “war on terror” has taken a bite out of beach access on Kauai, where the Navy’s Pacific Missile Range Facility (PMRF) has kept five miles of westside shoreline off-limits since Sept. 11, 2001.

KINDA KONA

A bill that would require bags of roasted coffee sold in Hawaii to list the place where each type of coffee it contains was grown, and its percentage by weight in descending order, was introduced to the state legislature by Sen. Josh Green.

DOG BILL

In September of 2011, the Weekly ran a piece highlighting one of Hawaii’s most dangerous invasive threats: the dreaded brown tree snake. Following up on Gov.

CIVICS: Be Heard!

HART Board: The Honolulu Authority for Rapid Transit will meet and take public testimony before convening an executive session. For more info, contact the project hotline at 566-2299 or e-mail [email: info].

The cost of Kiyosaki

[Jan. 18: “Cheap Advice”] Robert Kiyosaki did not talk, or attend.

Rails vs. roller-skates

[Dec. 21: “Underground Railroad”] The anti-rail pundits are right of course.

Capture the crooks

I propose that President Obama devote the remainder of his presidency to doing something useful, which would be to seek out all the crooks on Wall Street and Washington who have contributed to the sorry state of the economy in this country. Obviously he has not lived up to the expectations of a president and continues to perform as if Saul Alinksy was a member of his cabinet and the United Nations was his political platform.

Population overload

[Dec. 21: “Underground Railroad”] Traffic follows commercial development.

No haters

[Dec. 21: “Underground Railroad”] To all those opposed to the “rail.” You are the very people who will be in gridlock on the freeway, not able to move.

Vegetarian variation

I was delighted to read the new USDA guidelines requiring schools to serve meals with twice as many fruits and vegetables, more whole grains, less sodium and fat and no meat for breakfast. The guidelines were mandated by the Healthy Hunger-Free Kids Act signed by President Obama in December of 2010 and will go into effect within the next school year.

No exceptions

[Jan. 25: “Kyo-Ya-Ya”] Making an exception on zoning sets a dangerous precedence that will undoubtedly be followed by other properties.

Kyo-ya supporter

The protests last year of Turtle Bay’s expansion plans highlight the challenge facing us in Hawaii. We need to find a way to balance the need for new, upgraded hotel and timeshare offerings that visitors are increasingly seeking with the desire by nearly all residents to protect the remaining undeveloped areas of the island.

Efficiency not grandiosity

[Jan. 25: “Gridlock”] If the plan is to create a second city in West Oahu, I would consider that to be an urban center.