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Image: Illustration by Manny Pangilinan

Bottoms up

Get off your tail and build a bar

We’ll be honest. When it comes to the do-it-yourself movement, we’d really rather have someone do it for us. Sure, the occasional project is fun–planting some seeds in the ground here, assembling some bookshelves there–but we tend to leave the handiwork for those who are just slightly handier than we are. When it comes to embarking on major undertakings–you know, the kind that involve tools beyond scotch tape and magic markers–we have to be motivated by something we really love. And maybe you’ve already noticed this about us, but we at the Weekly really love a good time (see this week’s cover story). We love gallivanting around town. We love staying out too late. And we love raising a glass, especially if that glass is full of Guinness. So if we’re going to do it ourselves, we’re going to build ourselves a bar. Because once you get home, there’s no reason the party should stop.

Step one: Research

We told you this going in, but we’re really (and I mean really) better at drinking than we are at building. Even if the opposite were true, it’s important to remember that any carpentry project requires getting multiple opinions: Ask your friends, click around on the Internet, talk to the folks at City Mill and Home Depot and do some bar-hopping field research.

Step two: Map it out

If your place is anything like our place (teeny-tiny), you don’t have a whole lot of room for a bar. Get creative. We can’t help you with figuring out how to incorporate the plumbing or electricity (except to say that you should consult a professional), but we can suggest that you try to set up near an outlet so you can plug in your kegerator. Once you pick the spot, measure it–not just the width of what will be the bar top, but how tall you want it to be (you might want to pick out your barstools first) and how much room you’ll need to move around behind the bar. At a minimum, you should allow enough space for someone to walk behind the bar, plus another half of that person’s width. Be sure to plan for a lower surface behind the bar for preparation purposes. You may also want to measure behind the bar for shelving to display liquor, stash glassware and store extras like mini-umbrellas, plastic monkeys and beer-pong balls. Remember, it’s even more important to take precise measurements in smaller spaces.

Step three: Purchase building supplies

On the most basic level, you’ll need plywood, a hammer, nails and wood glue. To class it up a little, you might consider staining or otherwise finishing the wood, tiling the top (this requires concrete backer board–that’s fiberglass with a concrete core–which actually isn’t as hard to work with as it sounds but will require more tools, like a utility knife, screws and a thin-set mortar) or adding a cushiony padded edge to the lip of the bar. Don’t forget to pick up some sturdy hooks to adhere to the underside of the bar so ladies can hang their pocketbooks.

Step four: Start building

Lumber supply stores will cut plywood down to the sizes you need. On a very basic level, here’s what you need to do:

• Nail the main bar surface to the vertical front of the bar.

• Nail the lower behind-the-bar surface to the same vertical front, about a foot below the main bar.

• Depending on the weight of the bar, install support members as needed.

• Nail a wall to either side of the front piece (now your bar can actually stand on its own).

• Add shelves and cabinet doors behind the bar (a great place to tuck away a mini-fridge) if you choose.

• Secure your bar to the floor.

Step five: Accessorize

There are infinite ways to trick out your bar–from brass foot rails to neon signs to vintage taps, wall-mounted bottle openers, cocktail shakers and beyond. Of all the accessories out there–from the super functional to the purely decorative–there are just a few nonessentials that we wouldn’t do without.

• A keg full of delicious beer: We can tell you from experience that having a kegerator means you will be drinking more than you were before you had a kegerator. We can also tell you that you will love your kegerator. And your friends will love your kegerator. Your waistline maybe not so much.

• Comfortable stools: There’s nothing like bad seating to ruin a good time. You want your regulars to be comfortably perched–their time at your bar should have them waking up the next morning with a headache, not a backache.

• Quality booze: Unless you’re serving 17-year-olds (and don’t), nobody’s interested in drinking Popov at your bar, no matter how cool the set-up looks. Spring for the good stuff–but get more creative than simply going top shelf. There are dozens of delicious options that will cost less than you expect. Ask a couple of your favorite bartenders to steer you in the right direction.

Cheers!

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This week

Game Changer

After retiring from public service in 2002, Ben Cayetano seemed to be taking it easy on the political scene–until 2005, that is, when then-Mayor Mufi Hannemann revived the long-lapsed idea of a Honolulu heavy rail project. Needless to say, Cayetano did not concur.

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Kinda Hawaii?

[Feb. 1: “Kinda Kona”] The trade secret argument would fall to the wayside if it would read “10 percent Kona Coffee 90 percent Foreign Coffee,” or something to that effect.

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[Feb. 1: “Rail Boss Wanted”] $300,000?

Future Politician?

[Jan. 4: “Boss GMO] Dean Okimoto is a sell out and a criminal.

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Okimoto VS Small Ag

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Locals Know Best

[Jan. 25: “Weaving the Future on Molokai”] Good luck to all those who possess the ability to balance long-term vision with short term opportunity.

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Rail = Ego

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Plain stupid

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